Match Report

	(9) 17	-	(0) 0
Team Georgia-MayaJay				BonKeRs FC
Division Pos:7				Division Pos:10

Goal Scorers
Ken Opener2 4, 15, 19 (pen), 29 (pen), 62, 82 Leo Tarred 9, 24, 35, 51, 57, 72, 76, 87 Jacques Strap2 40, 45 Sid Down 67

Match Statistics

5 2 3	Formation	2 5 3
68	Possession	32
22	Shots	6
7	Fouls	17
1	Yellow Cards	4
0	Red Cards	0
5	Offsides	2
Longball	Style	Continental
Defensive	Instruction	Defensive
Pansy	Aggression	Nutter
Moulded	Boots	Studded

Player Ratings

1	S.Cola		89
2	B.Early		76
3	C.Kuoko2		89
4	H.Fire		88
5	S.Down		88
6	S.Dup		89
7	D.Lesgettham	(1)	45
8	S.Pull2	(1)	62
9	L.Tarred		94
10	C.Mass2	(1)	45
11	K.Opener2		87
12	V.Crow		0
13	R.Banks2		0
14	D.Lect	(1)	88
15	L.Sirr	(1)	90
16	J.Strap2	(1) (79)	75

1	F.Bisceps	(1)	45
2	B.Boohoo 6		0
3	B.Beefy 9	(1)	65
4	B.BoOm 6		83
5	B.BamBoo 6		0
6	B.Balboa 9**		81
7	B.BaZerKa 8		0
8	B.BonKeRs 9	(56)	77
9	B.BlaZe 9**	(21)	69
10	L.DeHand	(71)	77
11	B.BusTa 6*	(79)	81
12	B.Bonzai 9	(1)	78
13	B.BaRaCuda 8		0
14	B.Basically 8	(1)	66
15	J.Credible		0
16	B.Biggie 9		0


Time	Person	Description
1 mins	BonKeRs FC	changed from Defensive to Attacking
1 mins	Team Georgia-MayaJay	changed from Defensive to Counter Attack
4 mins	Ken Opener2	with a belter from the halfway line
9 mins	Leo Tarred	with a flick on
15 mins	BonKeRs FC	changed from Attacking to Defensive
15 mins	Team Georgia-MayaJay	changed from Counter Attack to Attacking
15 mins	Ken Opener2	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
19 mins	Ken Opener2	after ref awarded a penalty
21 mins	BonKeRs BlaZe 9**	Scrapping
24 mins	Leo Tarred	with a little side heel inside the six yard box
29 mins	Ken Opener2	after ref awarded a penalty
35 mins	Leo Tarred	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
37 mins	Brighton Early	A broken finger
40 mins	Jacques Strap2	with a scissor kick on the edge of the box
45 mins	Jacques Strap2	with a subtle shot from just inside the penalty area
51 mins	Leo Tarred	from the dressing room
56 mins	BonKeRs BonKeRs 9	Obstruction
57 mins	Leo Tarred	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
62 mins	Ken Opener2	with a powerful header into the top corner
67 mins	Sid Down	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
71 mins	Len DeHand	Obstruction
71 mins	Jacques Strap2	A broken arm
72 mins	Leo Tarred	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
75 mins	BonKeRs FC	changed from Defensive to Attacking
75 mins	Team Georgia-MayaJay	changed from Pansy to Normal
75 mins	Team Georgia-MayaJay	changed from Attacking to Counter Attack
76 mins	Leo Tarred	with a great chip from the left wing
79 mins	Jacques Strap2	Foul and abusive language
79 mins	BonKeRs BusTa 6*	Foul and abusive language
82 mins	Ken Opener2	with a unstoppable effort from 20 yards out
87 mins	Leo Tarred	from a free kick

Match Report

There were some important lessons that BonKeRs FC's manager Mr BonKeRs should take from their crushing 17 - 0 defeat at the hands of Team Georgia-MayaJay. . . like don't bother.
The Tory Party look more organised than this lot. BonKeRs FC manager Mr BonKeRs is lucky to still have a job after today's effort.
Was it Christmas out there? Must have seemed like it to Team Georgia-MayaJay who were gifted possession every time BonKeRs FC touched the ball.
Team Georgia-MayaJay's Leo Tarred could hardly believe his luck, bagging 8 goals during this encounter with BonKeRs FC.
Mr BonKeRs needs to start getting more defensive. Both about this awful result, and tactically.
Jacques Strap2 and BonKeRs BusTa 6* clashed in a war of words which found them both end up in Lewis Lummox's book.
After being scythed down in the opposition box, Team Georgia-MayaJay's Ken Opener2 managed to convert the kick before being rushed to hospital with a nasty gash on the leg caused by the scythe.
"We were like a rabbit dazed in the headlights of a car," grinned winning manager Les Saunders. "Except this rabbit has a suit of armour and that's what got us three points."
The vet added insult to injury when he arrived with a slobbering Labrador who licked all the players and slapped the club with a £1,000 bill for lab tests.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Lewis Lummox

Rainy

Soft Pitch