Match Report

	(1) 1	-	(5) 10
Jamie United				FcArsenal
Division Pos:11				Division Pos:3

Goal Scorers
Dick Tater 43		Tim Burr 9 Xavier Money 18, 43, 82 Ben Dover 26 Andy Structible 34, 67, 75 Manuel Labor 51 (pen), 59

Match Statistics

5 4 1 Attacking	Formation	4 3 3 Attacking
43	Possession	57
12	Shots	17
2	Fouls	6
0	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
2	Offsides	4
Longball	Style	Use Wings
Attacking	Instruction	Attacking
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Moulded	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	L.Tarred	74
2	K.Cook	76
3	S.Urai	73
4	A.Thetires	70
5	A.Luminum	46
6	M.Rohsopht	45
7	R.Ingleaves	76
8	B.Early	75
9	X.Money	64
10	B.Dover	48
11	D.Tater	85
12	C.Lear	0
13	D.Geruss	0
14	N.Ovtime	0
15	E.Ible	0
16	R.Sance	0

1	C.Lear		87
2	A.Gator		79
3	T.Burr		84
4	L.DeHand		82
5	S.Cola	(61)	73
6	B.Dover		88
7	R.Cranium		83
8	T.Burr		87
9	X.Money		76
10	M.Labor		89
11	A.Structible		82
12	X.Breath		0
13	M.Skeeto		0
14	L.Lyde		0
15	A.Bomb		0
16	T.Urchips		0


Time	Person	Description
9 mins	Tim Burr	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
18 mins	Xavier Money	from a corner
26 mins	Ben Dover	with a dink right on the goal line
34 mins	Andy Structible	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
43 mins	Dick Tater	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
43 mins	Xavier Money	with a belter from the halfway line
51 mins	Manuel Labor	after ref awarded a penalty
59 mins	Manuel Labor	with a spectacular bicycle kick
61 mins	Sheri Cola	Spitting
67 mins	Andy Structible	from a corner
75 mins	Andy Structible	from a throw in
82 mins	Xavier Money	with the bumcheek of God

Match Report

FcArsenal must be wondering if Jamie United were the local old folks' home in disguise after they stuffed them with a 10 - 1 lesson in scoring goals at will.
With little sign of organisation from manager Simon Staal, the key to this game is tactics. The only keys he'll have next match is for the team bus.
Renee Sance failed to show for Jamie United because his house burnt down during the night. He tried on three or four occasions to rescue his football boots, but was driven back by the flames.
The expression dodgy keeper was apparently coined for the first time after watching Jamie United's Leo Tarred. This guy couldn't stop a running nose.
Jamie United's attackers were doing their best impressions of a incompetent detective. They looked clueless.
Sure the Brazillian squad could make the 5 4 1 Attacking formation look impressive, Jamie United however make it look very ordinary.
"I just felt for that the whole game, the conditions and taking everything into consideration and everything being equal, and everything is equal, we should have got something from the game," claimed under pressure Jamie United boss Simon Staal. "But we didn't."
Results that look like phone numbers? Maybe FcArsenal could reign themselves in for their next match and only try beating the opposition by a tennis score.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Michael McLintock

Rainy

Muddy Pitch