Match Report

	(5) 11	-	(0) 1
CSI-Birchington				FcArsenal
Division Pos:1				Division Pos:2

Goal Scorers
Cote de Pabo 9, 40, 87 Anna Belknap 16 Robin Banks 25 (og) Lauren Le Smith 32 Louise Lombard 48 (pen), 55 (pen), 64 (pen), 71, 79		Adam Bomb 67

Match Statistics

4 5 1	Formation	4 4 2 Attacking
69	Possession	31
12	Shots	6
4	Fouls	8
1	Yellow Cards	2
0	Red Cards	0
3	Offsides	1
Use Wings	Style	Use Wings
Counter Attack	Instruction	Defensive
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Moulded	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	P.Perrette	(1)	45
2	L.Le Smith		88
3	E.Harnois	(1)	86
4	E.Proctor***		87
5	S.Ward		84
6	L.Vassey	(1)	45
7	L.Holly***		88
8	E.La Rue		87
9	K.Delany***		89
10	L.Lombard		93
11	C.de Pabo	(86)	90
12	S.Alexander	(1)	87
13	S.Milos	(1)	86
14	A.Belknap	(1)	88
15	M.Hartigay		0
16	E.Shue***		0

1	C.Lear		78
2	R.Banks	(59)	59
3	L.DeHand		71
4	T.Burr		72
5	S.Cola		66
6	B.Dover		82
7	R.Cranium	(86)	73
8	A.Bomb		77
9	T.Burr		80
10	X.Money		73
11	M.Labor		80
12	X.Breath		0
13	V.Tire		0
14	B.Weiser		0
15	A.Structible		0
16	L.Lyde		0


Time	Person	Description
1 mins	CSI-Birchington	changed from Counter Attack to Defensive
9 mins	Cote de Pabo	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
16 mins	Anna Belknap	with the bumcheek of God
25 mins	Robin Banks	with a shot which hit a defender on the way in
32 mins	Lauren Le Smith	with the bumcheek of God
40 mins	Cote de Pabo	with a thunderous shot from distance
48 mins	Louise Lombard	after ref awarded a penalty
55 mins	Louise Lombard	after ref awarded a penalty
59 mins	Robin Banks	Flying a kite
64 mins	Louise Lombard	after ref awarded a penalty
67 mins	Adam Bomb	with a wonderful chip from 30 yards out
71 mins	Louise Lombard	with a subtle shot from just inside the penalty area
79 mins	Louise Lombard	with a brave flying header
86 mins	Cote de Pabo	Head butting
86 mins	Richard Cranium	Head butting
87 mins	Cote de Pabo	with a header from the penalty area

Match Report

There's only one word for what happened to FcArsenal here. They were mauled, well and truly. How else can you describe being beaten 11 - 1? That's not losing, losing would suggest they competed in some way.
Brian Gilbert is starting to look like The Pied Piper, his inspirational coaching sees the CSI-Birchington team following his every instruction and dancing to his tune.
CSI-Birchington could have written a book on possession football after FcArsenal hardly touched the ball.
After a game like this you wouldn't trust FcArsenal's goalie Chanda Lear to keep goldfish.
FcArsenal's team looks like a bread sandwich, nothing in the middle. Their midfield hardly got a kick.
Cote de Pabo and Richard Cranium both found themselves in Terrence Frisk's book after headbutting each other like rutting stags.
Most of FcArsenal clearly thought 4 4 2 Attacking was the boss' phone number. Why else did they ignore his formation instructions.
After today's game, a group of enthusiastic fans began organising a collection in the pub. "We want to build a statue of Brian Gilbert!" they explained.
Like Cinderella can FcArsenal go from rags to riches after a result like this? They need to do something, at the moment they're just pumpkins.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Terrence Frisk

Hot

Normal Pitch