Match Report

	(5) 11	-	(2) 4
peterlee				Devon Cliffs
Division Pos:11				Division Pos:12

Goal Scorers
Robin Banks 6, 14, 29, 43, 66, 73 Robin Banks 36, 58 Ali Gator 50, 81, 89		Sheri Cola 17, 78 Sam Pull 35, 55

Match Statistics

3 2 2 3	Formation	Christmas Tree
61	Possession	39
16	Shots	11
7	Fouls	11
2	Yellow Cards	0
0	Red Cards	0
4	Offsides	3
Continental	Style	Passing
Counter Attack	Instruction	Attacking
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Moulded	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	S.Night		76
2	D.Geruss	(65)	63
3	S.Knot	(65)	71
4	H.Mungous		82
5	B.Weiser		66
6	B.Arrow	(46)	65
7	A.Hassle		88
8	B.Dover		88
9	R.Banks		85
10	A.Gator		52
11	R.Banks		71
12	B.Frapples		0
13	A.Kaseltzer	(46)	56
14	A.Structible		0
15	A.Bomb		0
16	R.Meeblind		0

1	J.Strap	78
2	M.Skeeto	74
3	A.Tricity	72
4	S.Pitt	65
5	M.Well	57
6	E.Ible	80
7	A.Nino	82
8	S.Dup	47
9	L.DeHand	67
10	S.Pull	70
11	S.Cola	79
12	J.Credible	0
13	C.Terbocks	0
14	V.Crow	0
15	M.Skeeto	0
16	M.Labor	0


Time	Person	Description
6 mins	Robin Banks	with a little side heel inside the six yard box
14 mins	Robin Banks	from the dressing room
17 mins	Sheri Cola	with a belter from his own half
22 mins	Samson Night	scuffed a penalty
29 mins	Robin Banks	with a strike from the left wing
35 mins	Sam Pull	after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
36 mins	Robin Banks	with a spectacular bicycle kick
43 mins	Robin Banks	from a free kick
46 mins	Bowen Arrow	A mild concussion
50 mins	Ali Gator	with a dink right on the goal line
55 mins	Sam Pull	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
58 mins	Robin Banks	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner
65 mins	Dan Geruss	Fighting with fans
65 mins	Shirley Knot	Fighting with fans
66 mins	Robin Banks	with a scissor kick on the edge of the box
73 mins	Robin Banks	from a throw in
78 mins	Sheri Cola	from the dressing room
81 mins	Ali Gator	with a subtle shot from just inside the penalty area
89 mins	Ali Gator	from a goal kick

Match Report

Not so much a game of football, more shooting fish in a barrel. It was far too easy for peterlee whose ball to goal ratio left them looking at a glorious 11 - 4 hammering of Devon Cliffs.
The peterlee defence was on form today, as Ashford And Simpson would say "Solid. Solid As A Rock."
Devon Cliffs's Moe Skeeto missed the game because he was too hungover to play. In fact he was too hungover to stand up. His head was pounding so much he'd actually gone blind.
There must be a reason why Devon Cliffs manager Nicky Jones insists on continuing to play the woeful Jacques Strap in goal. His turn out today was truly shocking. Couldn't stop traffic.
This result reads more like a tennis score than football. Devon Cliffs's defence would have faired better if they'd played the second half with tennis rackets. They were the pits.
Dan Geruss and Shirley Knot picked a fight with the biggest guy in the crowd hoping Terrence Frisk would end their embarrassment on the pitch. They both took a beating before Terrence Frisk stepped in and, out of spite, only booked them.
Devon Cliffs's Nicky Jones experiment with the Christmas Tree formation is not giving the results he wanted. Maybe he should change it before it blows up in his face.
"We were great value for the three points," beamed a smug-looking peterlee boss. "It was a nice scalp for us to put Devon Cliffs on their bottoms."
As if getting beaten by almost a cricket score wasn't enough for Devon Cliffs to sort their act out, maybe being a laughing stock will.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Terrence Frisk

Rainy

Soft Pitch