Match Report

	(5) 12	-	(1) 2
La Guardia				FARC FC
Division Pos:1				Division Pos:14

Goal Scorers
Adam Sapple 8, 50, 69 Lou Stooth 15 Warren Piece 29, 42, 56, 62, 90 Bjorn Free 35 Xavier Money 76 Winnie Dipoo 83 (pen)		Willie Maykit 31 Barb Dwyer 77

Match Statistics

3 4 3	Formation	3 6 1
69	Possession	31
19	Shots	5
5	Fouls	9
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
5	Offsides	1
Longball	Style	Use Wings
Counter Attack	Instruction	Defensive
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Studded	Boots	Studded

Player Ratings

1	W.Dipoo		87
2	A.Bomb		86
3	T.Vision		77
4	E.Roids	(90)	70
5	B.Free		87
6	X.Money		86
7	X.Breath		87
8	V.Veeta		78
9	S.Pitt		65
10	A.Sapple		91
11	W.Piece		84
12	C.Lear		0
13	S.Cola		0
14	M.Absent		0
15	B.Dover		0
16	D.Sore		0

1	F.Bisceps		74
2	L.DeHand		70
3	M.DeLawn	(90)	66
4	X.Money		69
5	M.Absent		73
6	B.Dwyer	(90)	73
7	B.Board		76
8	E.Ible		71
9	V.Lay		71
10	D.Lect		57
11	J.King		74
12	B.Free	(90)	64
13	E.Roids		0
14	C.Terbocks		0
15	H.deMann		0
16	W.Bago		0


Time	Person	Description
8 mins	Adam Sapple	from a free kick
15 mins	Lou Stooth	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
22 mins	Winnie Dipoo	blasted a penalty into row z
29 mins	Warren Piece	with a dink right on the goal line
31 mins	Willie Maykit	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
35 mins	Bjorn Free	with a spectacular bicycle kick
42 mins	Warren Piece	with a belter from the halfway line
50 mins	Adam Sapple	with a scissor kick on the edge of the box
56 mins	Warren Piece	with a wonderful chip from 30 yards out
62 mins	Warren Piece	with a brave flying header
69 mins	Adam Sapple	with a strike from the left wing
76 mins	Xavier Money	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
77 mins	Barb Dwyer	with a thunderous shot from distance
83 mins	Winnie Dipoo	after ref awarded a penalty
90 mins	Emma Roids	Annoying the referee
90 mins	Barb Dwyer	A mild concussion
90 mins	Tate Urchips	Faking injury
90 mins	Warren Piece	with a little side heel inside the six yard box

Match Report

If the La Guardia strikers had guns instead feet, FARC FC's goalie would have been full of holes at the end of this 12 - 2 rout.
What a tactician La Guardia manager is. Sure, winning a game of football ain't rocket science, if it were Tony Mckeown would be working at NASA not standing in the rain on a Sunday morning.
To say that FARC FC played football would be stretching the point a little far seeing as they barely saw a ball all match.
FARC FC's goalie has the physique of Mr Muscle and all the stopping power of something that can't, and never will, stop a thing. Nothing. He's crap.
La Guardia's midfield were more than midfield generals. They were Imperial Warlords and blew their opposite numbers off the park.
There are less suitable formations for FARC FC's squad than 3 6 1, but Mike Scott would be advised to ignore those too.
In reply to criticisms of his management after FARC FC's defeat, Mike Scott replied: "I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league."
Despite all their Christmases coming at once, La Guardia should still get a present. On the evidence of this one-sided contest a deckchair for their goalie might be nice.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Billy Bludgeon

Snowy

Frozen Pitch