Match Report

	(2) 4	-	(5) 12
Banzai Piledrivers				shallfleet city
Division Pos:12				Division Pos:10

Goal Scorers
Marcus Absent 22 (pen) Al Kaseltzer 41 Al Luminum 60 Al Kaholic 77		Barb Dwyer 9 (pen) Bob Frapples 17, 61 Nick Ovtime 25 Alec Tricity 33, 55 (pen), 81 Bowen Arrow 40 Xavier Money 48, 87 Marcus Absent 67 (og) Joe King 74

Match Statistics

5 4 1 Attacking	Formation	4 1 2 3
46	Possession	54
7	Shots	12
11	Fouls	10
1	Yellow Cards	1
1	Red Cards	0
4	Offsides	5
Continental	Style	Continental
Defensive	Instruction	Defensive
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Studded	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	B.Free		74
2	M.Absent		72
3	W.Deer		72
4	M.Absent		65
5	T.Burr	(44)	57
6	B.Free		50
7	A.Kaseltzer		79
8	J.Case		71
9	A.Luminum		77
10	V.Lay		44
11	A.Kaholic	(45)	76
12	B.Free		0
13	M.Skeeto		0
14	R.Sance		0
15	A.Kaholic		0
16	E.Jewcation		0

1	B.Dwyer	(44)	76
2	A.Thetires		74
3	B.Arrow		78
4	M.Rohsopht		80
5	S.Pitt	(45)	68
6	N.Ovtime		81
7	B.Cherry		87
8	X.Money		85
9	B.Frapples		80
10	J.King		75
11	A.Tricity		84
12	D.Geruss		0
13	J.Atrics		0
14	C.Arm	(44)	81
15	W.Piece		0
16	A.Nino		0


Time	Person	Description
9 mins	Barb Dwyer	after ref awarded a penalty
17 mins	Bob Frapples	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
22 mins	Marcus Absent	after ref awarded a penalty
25 mins	Nick Ovtime	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
33 mins	Alec Tricity	with a header from the penalty area
40 mins	Bowen Arrow	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
41 mins	Al Kaseltzer	from a corner
44 mins	Tim Burr	Being drunk
44 mins	Barb Dwyer	A sprained wrist
45 mins	Stu Pitt	Head butting
45 mins	Al Kaholic	Head butting
48 mins	Xavier Money	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
55 mins	Alec Tricity	after ref awarded a penalty
60 mins	Al Luminum	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
61 mins	Bob Frapples	from a goal kick
67 mins	Marcus Absent	with an own goal from a goal mouth fumble
74 mins	Joe King	with an amazing lob from an acute angle
77 mins	Al Kaholic	with a spectacular bicycle kick
81 mins	Alec Tricity	with a dink right under the goalkeeper's nose
87 mins	Xavier Money	with a lucky shot that just sneaked inside the post

Match Report

Banzai Piledrivers played a blinder against shallfleet city. They would probably have faired better if they were blindfolded. 12 - 4 isn't a football score, it's the dialling code for Swansea.
Adam McEvoy is starting to look like The Pied Piper, his inspirational coaching sees the shallfleet city team following his every instruction and dancing to his tune.
Banzai Piledrivers's goalie has the physique of Mr Muscle and all the stopping power of something that can't, and never will, stop a thing. Nothing. He's crap.
A terrible day for Banzai Piledrivers's midfield, they couldn't even pass wind.
Banzai Piledrivers player Tim Burr's had his knuckle duster, catapult and popgun confiscated by the referee before the game, so it was no surprise when he was sent off.
Stu Pitt and Al Kaholic were both shown the yellow card after an off the ball incident led to them knocking each other out with a simultaneous headbutt.
Sure the Brazillian squad could make the 5 4 1 Attacking formation look impressive, Banzai Piledrivers however make it look very ordinary.
"If it wasn't for their goals, we would have won this one," moaned Banzai Piledrivers manager Dick Chappy. "I'm in the results business, and this was a bad day at the office."
How on earth do you stop a team like shallfleet city on this kind of form? How about digging trenches and shoring up the penalty area with sandbags?

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Butch Gravelneck

Rainy

Soft Pitch