Match Report

	(0) 1	-	(9) 20
City Blues				We Play Like Girls
Division Pos:6				Division Pos:11

Goal Scorers
Player Name 4330 48		Eric Cantona 7, 59, 70, 73 Daz Mortimer 11, 26, 29, 44, 48, 55, 67, 77, 81, 85, 89 David Beckham 15 Bruno Fernandes 33 Josh Mortimer 36 Lee Richardson 40 Ryan Giggs 52

Match Statistics

1 8 1	Formation	4 3 3
42	Possession	58
7	Shots	20
9	Fouls	6
1	Yellow Cards	0
0	Red Cards	0
2	Offsides	6
Passing	Style	Passing
Defensive	Instruction	Counter Attack
Pansy	Aggression	Psycho
Studded	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	P.Name 4322		28
2	P.Name 4323	(90)	31
3	P.Name 4326		0
4	P.Name 4327		29
5	P.Name 4331		27
6	P.Name 4333		27
7	P.Name 4336		31
8	P.Name 4337		42
9	P.Name 4338		0
10	P.Name 4330		34
11	P.Name 4334		0
12	P.Name 4332		0
13	P.Name 4324		0
14	P.Name 4321		0
15	P.Name 4335		0
16	P.Name 4329		0

1	D.De Gea	30
2	G.Neville	35
3	R.Ferdinand	29
4	N.Vidic	30
5	J.Mortimer	32
6	D.Beckham	41
7	B.Fernandes	30
8	R.Giggs	26
9	E.Cantona	32
10	L.Richardson	38
11	D.Mortimer	26
12	D.Irwin	0
13	G.Pallister	0
14	F.Barthez	0
15	C.Ronaldo	0
16	A.Elanga	0


Time	Person	Description
4 mins	Daz Mortimer	scuffed a penalty
7 mins	Eric Cantona	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
11 mins	Daz Mortimer	from a goal kick
15 mins	David Beckham	with the bumcheek of God
26 mins	Daz Mortimer	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
29 mins	Daz Mortimer	with a thunderous shot from distance
33 mins	Bruno Fernandes	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
36 mins	Josh Mortimer	with the hand of God
40 mins	Lee Richardson	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
44 mins	Daz Mortimer	with a great volley from 10 yards out
48 mins	Player Name 4330	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
48 mins	Daz Mortimer	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
52 mins	Ryan Giggs	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
55 mins	Daz Mortimer	with a strike from the left wing
59 mins	Eric Cantona	with a great chip from the left wing
63 mins	Daz Mortimer	scuffed a penalty
67 mins	Daz Mortimer	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
70 mins	Eric Cantona	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
73 mins	Eric Cantona	with a great solo effort
77 mins	Daz Mortimer	with a brave flying header
81 mins	Daz Mortimer	with a great volley from 10 yards out
85 mins	Daz Mortimer	with a dink right on the goal line
89 mins	Daz Mortimer	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
90 mins	Player Name 4323	Foul and abusive language

Match Report

"20 - 1 to the We Play Like Girls" might not rhyme, but it sounds like the best song in the world when you've just scored 20 goals against City Blues with precious little reply.
Sam Land clearly thinks his team are the most skilled and highly tuned squad around. Why else would training be abandoned like an unwanted puppy?
Dennis Irwin didn't show up for We Play Like Girls because he couldn't find his favourite pants and can't play properly without a lacy pair of knickers under his shorts.
There must be a reason why City Blues manager Sam Land insists on continuing to play the woeful Player Name 4322 in goal. His turn out today was truly shocking. Couldn't stop traffic.
The We Play Like Girls defence was on form today, as Ashford And Simpson would say "Solid. Solid As A Rock."
There are less suitable formations for City Blues's squad than 1 8 1, but Sam Land would be advised to ignore those too.
"The thing about this game," offered boss Sam Land, "is even when you're dead, you must never allow yourself just to lie down and be buried. Judging by that performance, we brought our own spades."
With We Play Like Girls scoring so freely questions need to be asked of the opposition. The most obvious being did they actually turn up? If so, why did they bother?

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Buster Jones Junior

Windy

Muddy Pitch