Match Report

	(1) 2	-	(6) 12
Kingsmill Rangers				Send Help
Division Pos:7				Division Pos:1

Goal Scorers
Bo Nessround 43 Stu Pitt 80		Andy Gravity 5, 11, 24, 68, 76 (pen) Willie Maykit 31, 82 Walter Melon 37, 43 Chanda Lear 56 Aaron Thetires 62 Wilma Leggrowbach 89

Match Statistics

Diamond	Formation	2 5 3
31	Possession	69
7	Shots	13
8	Fouls	8
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
2	Offsides	3
Use Wings	Style	Passing
Counter Attack	Instruction	Defensive
Pansy	Aggression	Normal
Studded	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	C.Needzit		77
2	W.Maykit		69
3	U.Daway		70
4	L.Stooth		71
5	H.Voor		64
6	U.Daway	(74)	66
7	R.Sance		73
8	J.King		72
9	S.Pitt		80
10	A.Bomb		59
11	B.Nessround		59
12	R.Meeblind		0
13	D.Druff		0
14	E.Dover		0
15	A.Kaseltzer		0
16	M.Skeeto		0

1	K.Cook		88
2	A.Sapple		86
3	E.Jewcation		84
4	W.Leggrowbach		90
5	J.Czarfunee		88
6	W.Melon		89
7	A.Thetires		90
8	S.Night		90
9	W.Maykit		87
10	C.Lear		88
11	A.Gravity	(54)	92
12	F.Bisceps		0
13	B.Board		0
14	J.King		0
15	W.Bago		0
16	D.Tater		0


Time	Person	Description
5 mins	Andy Gravity	with a cheeky dink through the keeper's legs
11 mins	Andy Gravity	from a corner
24 mins	Andy Gravity	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
31 mins	Willie Maykit	from the dressing room
37 mins	Walter Melon	after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
43 mins	Bo Nessround	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
43 mins	Walter Melon	from a free kick
54 mins	Andy Gravity	Squabbling
56 mins	Chanda Lear	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
62 mins	Aaron Thetires	with a little side heel inside the six yard box
68 mins	Andy Gravity	with a dink right on the goal line
74 mins	Ulee Daway	Repeated diving
76 mins	Andy Gravity	after ref awarded a penalty
80 mins	Stu Pitt	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
82 mins	Willie Maykit	with a great volley from 10 yards out
89 mins	Wilma Leggrowbach	from a free kick

Match Report

Send Help not only took the game to Kingsmill Rangers, it appears they brought several buckets of whitewash with them too. Whitewash? How's 12 - 2?
Nick Newton must be either as lazy as they come or a blind optimist to think letting Kingsmill Rangers off training will help.
Send Help had so much of the ball, Kingsmill Rangers asked the ref to stop the game and check their was only one ball on the pitch.
Butterfingers? After watching Kingsmill Rangers's goalie Casey Needzit you'd be forgiven for thinking he has butterarms, butterhands and butterlegs. Must do butter… sorry, better.
At every opportunity Send Help's midfield passed. If this was their passing exam, they'd have passed.
When the ref pointed to the spot for no reason, Send Help's Andy Gravity tucked a superb penalty kick into the bottom corner despite the Kingsmill Rangers keeper getting a hand to it.
"The thing about this game," offered boss Nick Newton, "is even when you're dead, you must never allow yourself just to lie down and be buried. Judging by that performance, we brought our own spades."
Kingsmill Rangers are going to find their blindfolds pretty useful when the manger introduces a firing squad in training after this humiliating defeat.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Lewis Lummox

Rainy

Soft Pitch