Match Report

	(11) 21	-	(1) 2
Send Help				Grande Vites
Division Pos:1				Division Pos:9

Goal Scorers
Andy Gravity 4, 12, 20 (pen), 24, 28, 32, 36, 40, 43, 47, 55 (pen), 63, 67 Willie Maykit 8, 51, 80 Wilma Leggrowbach 16 Chanda Lear 58, 72 Adam Sapple 85 Aaron Thetires 89		Al Kaholic 43, 84

Match Statistics

2 5 3	Formation	1 4 5
70	Possession	30
21	Shots	4
7	Fouls	3
1	Yellow Cards	2
0	Red Cards	0
3	Offsides	1
Passing	Style	Longball
Defensive	Instruction	Defensive
Normal	Aggression	Pansy
Blades	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	K.Cook		89
2	A.Sapple		75
3	E.Jewcation		86
4	W.Leggrowbach		87
5	J.Czarfunee		89
6	W.Melon		90
7	A.Thetires	(49)	89
8	S.Night		87
9	W.Maykit		91
10	C.Lear		88
11	A.Gravity		94
12	F.Bisceps		0
13	B.Board		0
14	J.King		0
15	W.Bago		0
16	D.Tater		0

1	P.Zaria		80
2	M.DeLawn		74
3	A.Bomb	(90)	73
4	A.Kaholic		62
5	J.Strap		61
6	P.Pantz	(90)	48
7	D.Pipes		67
8	B.Crobbery		0
9	S.Freak		0
10	S.Cola		45
11	S.Manilla	(49)	46
12	M.Rohsopht	(49)	60
13	S.Cola		0
14	X.Breath		0
15	W.Dipoo		0
16	E.Roids		0


Time	Person	Description
4 mins	Andy Gravity	with a header from the penalty area
8 mins	Willie Maykit	from a corner
12 mins	Andy Gravity	with a lucky shot that just sneaked inside the post
16 mins	Wilma Leggrowbach	from a goal kick
20 mins	Andy Gravity	after ref awarded a penalty
24 mins	Andy Gravity	with a strike from the left wing
28 mins	Andy Gravity	with a lovely move from the right wing
32 mins	Andy Gravity	with a great solo effort
36 mins	Andy Gravity	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
40 mins	Andy Gravity	from a corner
43 mins	Andy Gravity	with the hand of God
43 mins	Al Kaholic	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
47 mins	Andy Gravity	with a lucky shot that just sneaked inside the post
49 mins	Aaron Thetires	Scrapping
49 mins	Sam Manilla	A broken leg
51 mins	Willie Maykit	with a spectacular bicycle kick
55 mins	Andy Gravity	after ref awarded a penalty
58 mins	Chanda Lear	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
63 mins	Andy Gravity	with a cheeky dink through the keeper's legs
67 mins	Andy Gravity	with an amazing lob from an acute angle
72 mins	Chanda Lear	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner
80 mins	Willie Maykit	with a brave flying header
84 mins	Al Kaholic	from a goal kick
85 mins	Adam Sapple	from the dressing room
89 mins	Aaron Thetires	with a little side heel inside the six yard box
90 mins	Peter Pantz	Fighting with fans
90 mins	Adam Bomb	Fighting with fans

Match Report

Grande Vites's defence weren't keen on getting to the ball. They claimed it was a bit muddy and might mess up their nice white shorts. The result? A 21 - 2 tonking.
Adam Moyse would be more suited to training dogs, He's taught this team just roll over, play dead and start begging from the kick off.
Emma Roids failed to show for Grande Vites's game because he was still in the local celebrating his birthday which was actually three days ago.
It was such a bad match for Grande Vites goalie Pete Zaria that, at half time, he asked the ref to check that there was only one ball on the pitch.
Quick, pass the dictionary to the Grande Vites defenders, they need to look up the word 'tackle'. Actually if you did pass it to them, they'd only lose it to one of Send Help's strikers.
Peter Pantz and Adam Bomb picked a fight with the biggest guy in the crowd hoping Michael McLintock would end their embarrassment on the pitch. They both took a beating before Michael McLintock stepped in and, out of spite, only booked them.
The boss is meant to shape his team, Grande Vites manager Adam Moyse does. But 1 4 5 is not the best shape for them.
"We owe it all to the boss," babbled an excited fan after the Send Help win. "The goals made such a difference to this game."
It's a simple game is football. Score more goals than the other team. Send Help seem to have gone a little too far here and scored more goals than Grande Vites look like scoring all season.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Michael McLintock

Windy

Hard Pitch