Match Report

	(7) 15	-	(0) 2
Grande Vites				Harrys Hairy Feet
Division Pos:9				Division Pos:16

Goal Scorers
Dwayne Pipes 6, 10, 16, 21, 36, 51, 61, 72, 78 Jacques Strap 26 (pen) Sheri Cola 41 Al Kaholic 46, 84 Xavier Breath 56, 67		Sheri Cola 48 (og) 6.Aleksander Mitrovic.645.0 65

Match Statistics

4 3 3	Formation	4 1 3 1 1
44	Possession	56
16	Shots	16
7	Fouls	11
1	Yellow Cards	2
0	Red Cards	0
2	Offsides	4
Passing	Style	Passing
Defensive	Instruction	Attacking
Pansy	Aggression	Normal
Moulded	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	P.Zaria		89
2	M.DeLawn	(59)	75
3	S.Freak		71
4	S.Cola		76
5	J.Strap		80
6	J.Czarfunee		87
7	S.Cola	(64)	77
8	R.Meeblind		67
9	X.Breath		90
10	A.Kaholic		90
11	D.Pipes		85
12	A.Bomb	(64)	69
13	B.Crobbery		0
14	M.Rohsopht		0
15	D.Buratto		0
16	P.Pantz		0

1	1.Leno.405.0		48
2	8.James.639.0		48
3	6.Ward.593.0	(29)	48
4	6.Anderson.604.0	(59)	48
5	9.White.575.0		46
6	8.Rice.666.0		0
7	9.*Bowen.622.0		0
8	6.Kante.669.0		48
9	6.Zaha.672.0		48
10	6.Kane.675.0		0
11	6.Mitrovic.645.0		48
12	6.Rayo.463.0		0
13	X.Xxxx		0
14	6.*Son.624		0
15	1.Saka.619.0		0
16	8.Toney.651.0		0


Time	Person	Description
6 mins	Dwayne Pipes	from a corner
10 mins	Dwayne Pipes	with a great chip from the left wing
13 mins	6.Aleksander Mitrovic.645.0	blasted a penalty into row z
16 mins	Dwayne Pipes	with a spectacular bicycle kick
21 mins	Dwayne Pipes	from a goal kick
26 mins	Jacques Strap	after ref awarded a penalty
29 mins	6.Joel Ward.593.0	No apparent reason
30 mins	6.Aleksander Mitrovic.645.0	blasted a penalty into row z
31 mins	Dwayne Pipes	blasted a penalty into row z
36 mins	Dwayne Pipes	with a wonderful chip from 30 yards out
41 mins	Sheri Cola	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
46 mins	Al Kaholic	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
48 mins	Sheri Cola	with a shot which hit a defender on the way in
51 mins	Dwayne Pipes	with an amazing lob from an acute angle
56 mins	Xavier Breath	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
59 mins	Moe DeLawn	Head butting
59 mins	6.Joachim Anderson.604.0	Head butting
61 mins	Dwayne Pipes	with the hand of God
64 mins	Sheri Cola	A mild concussion
65 mins	6.Aleksander Mitrovic.645.0	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
67 mins	Xavier Breath	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
72 mins	Dwayne Pipes	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner
78 mins	Dwayne Pipes	with a subtle shot from just inside the penalty area
82 mins	6.Aleksander Mitrovic.645.0	scuffed a penalty
84 mins	Al Kaholic	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half

Match Report

Harrys Hairy Feet aren't doing themselves any favours if they want to escape relegation. Defeat at the hands of Grande Vites isn't going to help their struggle.
After a good session at the Pub crawl the Grande Vites performance was credit to manager Adam Moyse's commitment.
6. Harry Kane.675.0 failed to show for Harrys Hairy Feet after a night on the town. He woke up with the mother of all hangovers and spent the afternoon blowing chunks while clinging to his toilet bowl like his life depended on it.
Harrys Hairy Feet keeper 10.Bernd Leno.405.0 was so bad it was his own team's fans who started the "you're rubbish" chant whenever he took a goal kick.
Scouts were spotted watching Harrys Hairy Feet's midfield. But only as the scout leader had them working on their comedy badge, the passing play was laughable.
Moe DeLawn and 6.Joachim Anderson.604.0 were both shown the yellow card after an off the ball incident led to them knocking each other out with a simultaneous headbutt.
Sheri Cola is out of the Grande Vites team for 2 weeks with a mild concussion. Face it, they won't miss him.
"The thing about this game," offered boss Harry Redknapp, "is even when you're dead, you must never allow yourself just to lie down and be buried. Judging by that performance, we brought our own spades."
Despite all their Christmases coming at once, Grande Vites should still get a present. On the evidence of this one-sided contest a deckchair for their goalie might be nice.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Terrence Frisk

Windy

Hard Pitch