Match Report

	(0) 1	-	(12) 24
Sporting Kansas City				A.C.Upstreet
Division Pos:14				Division Pos:7

Goal Scorers
Lance Lyde 74		Des Buratto...574 * 4, 7, 25, 32, 44, 47, 50, 69, 77 Hugh deMann...717 11, 22 (pen), 36 (pen), 40, 65, 73 (pen), 81 (pen), 84 (pen), 89 Jacques Strap..680 * 15 Wayne Deer * 19, 62 Renee Sance..587 * 29 Andy Gravity 54 Alex Luminum..705 58

Match Statistics

Christmas Tree	Formation	5 4 1
29	Possession	71
5	Shots	24
7	Fouls	7
1	Yellow Cards	0
0	Red Cards	0
1	Offsides	3
Longball	Style	Passing
Defensive	Instruction	Counter Attack
Pansy	Aggression	Normal
Studded	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	E.Ible		41
2	L.Briccant		71
3	T.Vision	(90)	69
4	U.Daway		76
5	S.Down		73
6	K.Opener		75
7	B.Ding		64
8	S.Pitt		47
9	L.Lyde		68
10	C.Arm		62
11	W.Deer		0
12	M.Absent		0
13	W.Melon		0
14	A.Gator		0
15	A.Birthday		0
16	D.Druff		0

1	A.Hassle	(1)	69
2	S.Night..612		85
3	R.Kleiner..664 *		87
4	A.Gravity		90
5	J.Strap..680 *		89
6	R.Sance..587 *		88
7	V.Veeta	(1)	45
8	W.Deer *		88
9	H.deMann...717		94
10	A.Luminum..705		80
11	B.Nessround....562 *	(1)	63
12	D.Buratto...574 *	(1)	94
13	L.Stooth *	(1)	88
14	A.Structible *		0
15	X.Breath		0
16	A.Sapple...528	(1)	89


Time	Person	Description
4 mins	Des Buratto...574 *	from the dressing room
7 mins	Des Buratto...574 *	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
11 mins	Hugh deMann...717	with an amazing lob from an acute angle
15 mins	Jacques Strap..680 *	with a thunderous shot from distance
19 mins	Wayne Deer *	with the hand of God
22 mins	Hugh deMann...717	after ref awarded a penalty
25 mins	Des Buratto...574 *	with a strike from the left wing
29 mins	Renee Sance..587 *	after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
32 mins	Des Buratto...574 *	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
36 mins	Hugh deMann...717	after ref awarded a penalty
40 mins	Hugh deMann...717	from a throw in
44 mins	Des Buratto...574 *	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
47 mins	Des Buratto...574 *	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
50 mins	Des Buratto...574 *	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
54 mins	Andy Gravity	with a header from the penalty area
58 mins	Alex Luminum..705	with a spectacular bicycle kick
62 mins	Wayne Deer *	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner
65 mins	Hugh deMann...717	with a lovely move from the right wing
69 mins	Des Buratto...574 *	with a dink right on the goal line
73 mins	Hugh deMann...717	after ref awarded a penalty
74 mins	Lance Lyde	with a header from the penalty area
77 mins	Des Buratto...574 *	with a belter from the halfway line
81 mins	Hugh deMann...717	after ref awarded a penalty
84 mins	Hugh deMann...717	after ref awarded a penalty
89 mins	Hugh deMann...717	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
90 mins	Otto Whackew	Scrapping
90 mins	Alex Luminum..705	A mild concussion

Match Report

A.C.Upstreet must be wondering if Sporting Kansas City were the local old folks' home in disguise after they stuffed them with a 24 - 1 lesson in scoring goals at will.
Some idiot seems to have decided that only Throw-ins will turn round the fortunes of Sporting Kansas City. That idiot is Carlos Fernandez.
Total football? A.C.Upstreet might have some tips after dominating possession for almost the entire 90 minutes.
After a game like this you wouldn't trust Sporting Kansas City's goalie Ed Ible to keep goldfish.
The master tactician at yesterdays game was Ty Jones. His chess-like passing style checkmating Sporting Kansas City's tiddlywinks style long ball game.
Alex Luminum..705 misses 2 weeks for A.C.Upstreet with a mild concussion.
"Ariel Hassle is the kind of guy who lets his game do the talking," said A.C.Upstreet manager Ty Jones. "Good job really, he's so monumentally stupid he can barely string a sentence together."
Despite all their Christmases coming at once, A.C.Upstreet should still get a present. On the evidence of this one-sided contest a deckchair for their goalie might be nice.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Cecil Dingberry

Windy

Normal Pitch