Match Report

	(10) 19	-	(4) 8
ye olde poonannies				CFR Cluj
Division Pos:13				Division Pos:10

Goal Scorers
Brice Tagg 5, 14, 23, 32, 50, 55, 59, 68, 73, 77, 82, 87 Hayden Seek 10, 41 Warren Piece 19 Russell Ingleaves 28, 45 Dan Geruss 37 (pen) Richard Cranium 64		Willie Maykit 8 Chanda Lear 19 Tate Urchips 31 Huang Annsaw 41, 74 (pen) Telly Vision 52 (pen), 63 Jacques Strap 86 (og)

Match Statistics

2 3 2 1 2	Formation	1 8 1
56	Possession	44
19	Shots	12
6	Fouls	7
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
5	Offsides	6
Use Wings	Style	Passing
Defensive	Instruction	Attacking
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Studded	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	D.Geruss		89
2	J.Strap		74
3	H.deMann		73
4	R.Ingleaves		88
5	D.Buratto		77
6	D.Pipes	(61)	50
7	J.Case		71
8	R.Cranium		79
9	W.Piece		81
10	H.Seek		80
11	B.Tagg		94
12	B.Cherry		0
13	H.Fire		0
14	R.Sance		0
15	E.Whatarmy		0
16	U.Daway		0

1	B.Ender		71
2	C.Lear		76
3	W.Maykit		80
4	M.DeLawn		71
5	H.Annsaw		74
6	T.Vision	(49)	77
7	T.Urchips		63
8	J.Case		45
9	A.Kaseltzer		45
10	B.Weiser		0
11	L.Stooth		0
12	S.Manilla		0
13	R.Ingleaves		0
14	E.Whatarmy		0
15	K.Dewitt		0
16	A.Thetires		0


Time	Person	Description
5 mins	Brice Tagg	with a flick on
8 mins	Willie Maykit	with a great volley from 10 yards out
10 mins	Hayden Seek	with a strike from the left wing
14 mins	Brice Tagg	with a powerful header into the top corner
19 mins	Warren Piece	with a unstoppable effort from 20 yards out
19 mins	Chanda Lear	after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
23 mins	Brice Tagg	from the dressing room
28 mins	Russell Ingleaves	with a spectacular bicycle kick
31 mins	Tate Urchips	with a little side heel inside the six yard box
32 mins	Brice Tagg	with a unstoppable effort from 20 yards out
37 mins	Dan Geruss	after ref awarded a penalty
41 mins	Hayden Seek	with a dink right on the goal line
41 mins	Huang Annsaw	with a brave flying header
45 mins	Russell Ingleaves	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
49 mins	Telly Vision	Indecent exposure
50 mins	Brice Tagg	with a great volley from 10 yards out
52 mins	Telly Vision	after ref awarded a penalty
55 mins	Brice Tagg	with a great chip from the left wing
59 mins	Brice Tagg	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
61 mins	Dwayne Pipes	Unsporting behaviour
63 mins	Telly Vision	with a flick on
64 mins	Richard Cranium	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
68 mins	Brice Tagg	from a corner
73 mins	Brice Tagg	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
74 mins	Huang Annsaw	after ref awarded a penalty
77 mins	Brice Tagg	with the bumcheek of God
82 mins	Brice Tagg	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
86 mins	Jacques Strap	with an own goal
87 mins	Brice Tagg	from a goal kick

Match Report

CFR Cluj conceded 19 in 90 minutes for this 19 - 8 hammering against ye olde poonannies. Quite a feat when you think about it.
The CFR Cluj squad are spending their Tuesday evenings down the boozer, as Tarquin B Whiskerface III ignores the opportunity of improving his teams skills and fitness and has cancelled training.
Kenny Dewitt was absent because he'd just had Sky installed and couldn't tear himself away from a fascinating documentary about whale sex.
It was such a bad match for CFR Cluj goalie Bart Ender that, at half time, he asked the ref to check that there was only one ball on the pitch.
CFR Cluj's forwards are starting to resemble a pair of nursery school scissors. They lack any real cutting edge.
CFR Cluj look about as convinving playing in the 1 8 1 formation as they would if boss Tarquin B Whiskerface III sent them out in dresses.
After this defeat, whether CFR Cluj think their cup is half full or half empty it's the only cup they're going to see this season.
Being beaten by a tennis score is nothing to be proud of. Neither is falling in love with a tennis player. To them love means nothing.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Butch Gravelneck

Hot

Hard Pitch