Match Report

	(5) 11	-	(2) 4
kaunieciai				Juventus
Division Pos:4				Division Pos:3

Goal Scorers
Bill Board 7, 15, 30, 39, 47, 56, 70, 75, 82 Buster Cherry 22 Joe Czarfunee 89		Renee Sance 18 Eileen Dover 35, 74 Xavier Breath 54

Match Statistics

3 4 3	Formation	4 5 1 Attacking
51	Possession	49
11	Shots	12
7	Fouls	6
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	1
2	Offsides	3
Longball	Style	Passing
Defensive	Instruction	Counter Attack
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Blades	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	B.Free		66
2	D.Lesgettham		78
3	S.Freak		78
4	D.Buratto		80
5	V.Lay		89
6	X.Breath		81
7	A.Abet	(58)	87
8	J.Czarfunee		79
9	B.Cherry		79
10	B.Dover		60
11	B.Board		89
12	U.Daway		0
13	A.Nino		0
14	L.Briccant		0
15	S.Urai		0
16	J.Nasium		0

1	F.Furter		80
2	F.Bisceps		61
3	M.Well		61
4	U.Daway	(58,60)	55
5	A.Bomb		50
6	X.Breath		80
7	A.Birthday		79
8	E.Dover		71
9	R.Sance		79
10	J.Nasium		71
11	A.Bomb		74
12	S.Pitt		0
13	L.Briccant		0
14	C.Lear		0
15	L.Briccant		0
16	H.deMann		0


Time	Person	Description
7 mins	Bill Board	from the dressing room
15 mins	Bill Board	with a dink right on the goal line
18 mins	Renee Sance	with the bumcheek of God
22 mins	Buster Cherry	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
30 mins	Bill Board	with a header from the penalty area
35 mins	Eileen Dover	with a belter from his own half
39 mins	Bill Board	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
47 mins	Bill Board	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
54 mins	Xavier Breath	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
56 mins	Bill Board	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
58 mins	Alf Abet	Head butting
58 mins	Ulee Daway	Head butting
60 mins	Ulee Daway	Repeated diving
63 mins	Bjorn Free	scuffed a penalty
70 mins	Bill Board	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
74 mins	Eileen Dover	from a free kick
75 mins	Bill Board	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
82 mins	Bill Board	with the hand of God
89 mins	Joe Czarfunee	with a subtle shot from just inside the penalty area

Match Report

If the kaunieciai strikers had guns instead feet, Juventus's goalie would have been riddled with holes at the end of this 11 - 4 rout. His hands certainly appeared to be full of holes the number of times the ball slipped thorough them here.
The kaunieciai defence was on form today, as Ashford And Simpson would say "Solid. Solid As A Rock."
Jim Nasium was absent because he'd just had Sky installed and couldn't tear himself away from a fascinating documentary about whale sex.
Juventus's keeper Frank Furter couldn't have stopped a beachball on this kind of form.
You could give kaunieciai's defence bearskin hats and stand them in a box outside Buckingham Palace. On current form they'd defend anything.
Alf Abet and Ulee Daway were both shown the yellow card after an off the ball incident led to them knocking each other out with a simultaneous headbutt.
kaunieciai look about as convinving playing in the 3 4 3 formation as they would if boss Mark Smith sent them out in dresses.
As an angry mob of Juventus fans were heading towards the pub after this defeat, one pointed to the car park asking "Where does that idiot Razvan Constantin leave his car?"
Like Cinderella can Juventus go from rags to riches after a result like this? They need to do something, at the moment they're just pumpkins.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Simon Pieman

Rainy

Soft Pitch