Match Report

	(8) 15	-	(0) 0
Parkers Plonkers				Half Moon
Division Pos:1				Division Pos:9

Goal Scorers
Bjorn Free 3, 8, 23, 65, 76 Lance Lyde 14, 29, 34, 40, 71 Dan Geruss 18, 47, 53 Bo Nessround 81 (og) Hugo First 88

Match Statistics

5 2 3	Formation	4 4 2
70	Possession	30
24	Shots	4
5	Fouls	9
2	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
12	Offsides	2
Longball	Style	Passing
Attacking	Instruction	Defensive
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Studded	Boots	Studded

Player Ratings

1	X.Money		89
2	B.Dover		87
3	N.Ovtime	(64)	89
4	D.Pipes		88
5	B.Tagg		88
6	S.Night		88
7	L.Sirr	(15)	45
8	M.Labor	(1)	79
9	L.Lyde		92
10	D.Geruss		91
11	B.Free		92
12	H.Annsaw	(15) (1)	45
13	W.Maykit	(15)	80
14	H.First	(15) (48)	80
15	L.Tarred		0
16	L.Stooth		0

1	A.Sapple		73
2	J.Atrics		73
3	O.Whackew		67
4	B.Nessround		56
5	J.Credible		56
6	J.Frayed	(48)	77
7	B.Arrow		75
8	A.Gator		72
9	W.Leggrowbach		69
10	B.Crobbery		73
11	W.Maykit		69
12	B.Nessround		0
13	C.Lear		0
14	S.Pitt		0
15	J.King		0
16	V.Lay		0


Time	Person	Description
3 mins	Bjorn Free	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
8 mins	Bjorn Free	with a brave flying header
14 mins	Lance Lyde	with a belter from the halfway line
18 mins	Dan Geruss	with a dink right on the goal line
23 mins	Bjorn Free	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
29 mins	Lance Lyde	with a brave flying header
34 mins	Lance Lyde	with a unstoppable effort from 20 yards out
40 mins	Lance Lyde	with a flick on
47 mins	Dan Geruss	with a spectacular bicycle kick
48 mins	Jose Frayed	Head butting
48 mins	Hugo First	Head butting
53 mins	Dan Geruss	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
59 mins	Bjorn Free	scuffed a penalty
64 mins	Nick Ovtime	Foul and abusive language
65 mins	Bjorn Free	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner
71 mins	Lance Lyde	with a great solo effort
76 mins	Bjorn Free	with a thunderous shot from distance
81 mins	Bo Nessround	with an own goal from a goal mouth fumble
88 mins	Hugo First	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half

Match Report

Half Moon will be looking to prove to everyone that they are not as hopeless as this 15 - 0 massacre by Parkers Plonkers suggests. It won't so much be an uphill struggle as trying to scale a sheer rockface.
Does Half Moon manager BIDEMI NAIBI know what the clubs training facilities even looks like? Judging by Half Moon's clueless display we'd guess not.
Some you win, some you lose. When you can't even win possession, where's the hope?
Golden rules: always make sure you are facing the opposition goal. Always make sure the goalie you are heading for doesn't look like the guy who gives you a lift home after games. Unlike Bo Nessround do not put the ball into your own net. It's not big. It's not clever.
Someone should buy Parkers Plonkers's midfield a Parkie's outfit, they bossed everything that happened out there today.
Jose Frayed and Hugo First were both shown the yellow card after an off the ball incident led to them knocking each other out with a simultaneous headbutt.
Parkers Plonkers look about as convinving playing in the 5 2 3 formation as they would if boss Tom Parker sent them out in dresses.
"If we don't get our ship back on the rails, we're going to find ourselves in deep water," admitted manager BIDEMI NAIBI following this defeat.
Like Cinderella can Half Moon go from rags to riches after a result like this? They need to do something, at the moment they're just pumpkins.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Butch Gravelneck

Rainy

Muddy Pitch