Match Report

	(10) 18	-	(0) 0
Parkers Plonkers				BeerSquad
Division Pos:1				Division Pos:12

Goal Scorers
Bjorn Free 4, 19, 28, 42, 50 (pen), 54 (pen), 60, 69, 78 Lou Stooth 9, 23, 38, 82 Lance Lyde 14, 73 Russell Ingleaves 33 Willie Maykit 45, 64

Match Statistics

3 5 2	Formation	3 5 2 Attacking
69	Possession	31
20	Shots	8
3	Fouls	10
0	Yellow Cards	0
0	Red Cards	0
4	Offsides	2
Passing	Style	Passing
Counter Attack	Instruction	Attacking
Nutter	Aggression	Pansy
Moulded	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	B.Nessround		88
2	B.Dover		89
3	N.Ovtime		87
4	S.Night	(45)	45
5	R.Ingleaves	(45)	45
6	H.First		81
7	W.Maykit		89
8	L.Stooth		92
9	M.Labor	(45)	45
10	L.Lyde		88
11	B.Free		93
12	L.Briccant	(45)	88
13	L.Sirr	(45)	89
14	H.Annsaw	(45)	89
15	B.Tagg		0
16	X.Money		0

1	D.Geruss	70
2	H.Seek	47
3	W.Melon	47
4	A.Kaseltzer	46
5	M.Well	81
6	M.Absent	60
7	J.King	59
8	R.Ingleaves	43
9	F.Furter	43
10	T.Urchips	74
11	S.Cola	71
12	S.Urai	0
13	M.Well	0
14	V.Lay	0
15	B.Free	0
16	W.Bago	0


Time	Person	Description
4 mins	Bjorn Free	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
9 mins	Lou Stooth	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
14 mins	Lance Lyde	with a strike from the left wing
19 mins	Bjorn Free	with a lucky shot that just sneaked inside the post
23 mins	Lou Stooth	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
28 mins	Bjorn Free	with a shot which ricocheted in off the crossbar
33 mins	Russell Ingleaves	with a cheeky dink through the keeper's legs
38 mins	Lou Stooth	with a wonderful chip from 30 yards out
42 mins	Bjorn Free	from a corner
45 mins	Willie Maykit	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
50 mins	Bjorn Free	after ref awarded a penalty
54 mins	Bjorn Free	after ref awarded a penalty
60 mins	Bjorn Free	with a cheeky dink through the keeper's legs
64 mins	Willie Maykit	with a belter from his own half
69 mins	Bjorn Free	with an amazing lob from an acute angle
73 mins	Lance Lyde	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
78 mins	Bjorn Free	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
82 mins	Lou Stooth	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
90 mins	Hugo First	A mild concussion

Match Report

Parkers Plonkers not only took the game to BeerSquad, it appears they brought several buckets of whitewash with them too. Whitewash? How's 18 - 0?
Parkers Plonkers are fitter than the blond one out of Girls Aloud, after plenty of work on Defence.
BeerSquad's possession game was so bad they'd fair better if they turned the pitch into a giant pinball machine.
The only hope BeerSquad have of turning goalie Dan Geruss into a decent keeper is to feed him pies non-stop and hope he puts on enough weight to wedge himself between the posts.
BeerSquad's manager Karl Cross needs to whip his forwards into shape. Although after todays shocker he would be excused for just whipping them.
With not a single yellow card brandished by the ref, this game was so clean there was no need for the teams to wash their strips this week.
Hugo First will miss more games, he even feels unwell after watching a heavy foul from the bench.
"Someone in this team will have to grab the ball by the horns if we're going to get anything out of this season," huffed manager Karl Cross following his side's poor showing.
The vet added insult to injury when he arrived with a slobbering Labrador who licked all the players and slapped the club with a £1,000 bill for lab tests.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Billy Bludgeon

Windy

Normal Pitch