Match Report

	(0) 1	-	(6) 13
Mmmrs Phoenix Pigs				Mapperley
Division Pos:16				Division Pos:7

Goal Scorers
Telly Vision 53		Buster Cherry 7, 26, 38, 50 Buster Cherry 15, 72 Lance Lyde 19 Artie Choke 32, 82 Renee Sance 61 Carl Arm 66 (pen), 77 (pen) Justin Credible 88

Match Statistics

2 5 3	Formation	4 1 4 1
42	Possession	58
10	Shots	13
16	Fouls	6
7	Yellow Cards	2
1	Red Cards	0
3	Offsides	2
Passing	Style	Use Wings
Attacking	Instruction	Defensive
Nutter	Aggression	Pansy
Astros	Boots	Studded

Player Ratings

1	B.Cherry		48
2	W.Maykit		0
3	B.Ender	(23,46)	48
4	D.Sore	(58)	48
5	N.Ovtime		0
6	C.Mass	(15) (11)	48
7	E.Whatarmy	(84)	48
8	H.Voor	(35)	48
9	B.Dwyer	(15)	48
10	U.Daway	(15)	45
11	W.Bago	(70)	48
12	T.Vision	(15)	48
13	L.Briccant***	(15) (58)	47
14	W.Woanty	(15)	48
15	B.Frapples		0
16	L.Stooth		0

1	C.Arm		88
2	A.Rudder		79
3	V.Crow		81
4	L.Lyde		88
5	E.Jewcation		45
6	B.Cherry		72
7	K.Opener	(70) (58)	70
8	R.Kleiner		45
9	E.Jewcation		63
10	R.Sance		48
11	B.Cherry	(84)	92
12	J.Credible	(70)	48
13	H.deMann		0
14	C.Needzit		0
15	H.deMann		0
16	V.Crow		0


Time	Person	Description
7 mins	Buster Cherry	with a header from the penalty area
11 mins	Chris Mass	Time wasting
15 mins	Mmmrs Phoenix Pigs	changed from Attacking to Counter Attack
15 mins	Buster Cherry	with a brave flying header
19 mins	Lance Lyde	with a header from the penalty area
23 mins	Bart Ender	Two-footed tackle
26 mins	Buster Cherry	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
30 mins	Mmmrs Phoenix Pigs	changed from Passing to Longball
30 mins	Mmmrs Phoenix Pigs	changed from Counter Attack to Defensive
32 mins	Artie Choke	with a little side heel inside the six yard box
35 mins	Herbie Voor	Two-footed tackle
37 mins	Willy Woanty	blasted a penalty into row z
38 mins	Buster Cherry	with a great chip from the left wing
45 mins	Mmmrs Phoenix Pigs	changed from Longball to Passing
45 mins	Mmmrs Phoenix Pigs	changed from Defensive to Attacking
46 mins	Bart Ender	Repeated diving
50 mins	Buster Cherry	with a great volley from 10 yards out
53 mins	Telly Vision	with a belter from the halfway line
55 mins	Carl Arm	scuffed a penalty
58 mins	Lou Briccant***	Interfering with an opponent
58 mins	Ken Opener	Foul and abusive language
58 mins	Dinah Sore	Foul and abusive language
61 mins	Renee Sance	with a great solo effort
66 mins	Carl Arm	after ref awarded a penalty
70 mins	Winnie Bago	Shirt pulling
70 mins	Ken Opener	A mild concussion
72 mins	Buster Cherry	with a belter from the halfway line
75 mins	Mmmrs Phoenix Pigs	changed from Attacking to Defensive
77 mins	Winnie Bago	scuffed a penalty
77 mins	Carl Arm	after ref awarded a penalty
82 mins	Artie Choke	with the bumcheek of God
84 mins	Ewan Whatarmy	Head butting
84 mins	Buster Cherry	Head butting
88 mins	Justin Credible	with a dink right under the goalkeeper's nose

Match Report

The groundsmen are going to be working overtime to repair the penalty areas after Mapperley barely left them for the duration of this 13 - 1 massacre of Mmmrs Phoenix Pigs.
The Mapperley defence was on form today, as Ashford And Simpson would say "Solid. Solid As A Rock."
Nick Ovtime missed the match because he lost his car keys and couldn't be arsed to walk to the pitch.
It was such a bad match for Mmmrs Phoenix Pigs goalie Buster Cherry that, at half time, he asked the ref to check that there was only one ball on the pitch.
After today's performance Mmmrs Phoenix Pigs's midfield were bright red in the face - not through exertion but through understandable embarrassment.
Ken Opener and Dinah Sore had an Anglo-Saxon exchange which saw them both shown the yellow card.
Ken Opener sustained a mild concussion after a nasty tackle. It'll keep him out of the team for the next 2 weeks.
"The gaffer always tells us a game is not won until it's lost," remarked Ken Opener. "And we didn't lose, did we?"
Like Cinderella can Mmmrs Phoenix Pigs go from rags to riches after a result like this? They need to do something, at the moment they're just pumpkins.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Terrence Frisk

Rainy

Muddy Pitch