Match Report

	(3) 8	-	(0) 0
Parkers Plonkers				Mapperley
Division Pos:1				Division Pos:5

Goal Scorers
Dan Geruss 18 Bjorn Free 29 (pen), 47, 57 (pen), 67 Lance Lyde 40, 87 Ben Dover 77

Match Statistics

4 3 3	Formation	3 5 2
68	Possession	32
13	Shots	6
7	Fouls	8
2	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
5	Offsides	4
Longball	Style	Use Wings
Defensive	Instruction	Counter Attack
Normal	Aggression	Pansy
Studded	Boots	Studded

Player Ratings

1	B.Nessround		89
2	L.Tarred	(45)	45
3	D.Pipes		88
4	B.Tagg	(74)	85
5	L.Briccant		88
6	N.Ovtime	(45) (36)	45
7	W.Maykit		88
8	H.Annsaw	(45)	45
9	L.Lyde		88
10	D.Geruss		87
11	B.Free		93
12	B.Dover	(45)	88
13	R.Ingleaves	(45)	90
14	M.Labor	(45)	87
15	X.Money		0
16	L.Sirr		0

1	C.Arm		77
2	H.deMann	(52)	64
3	V.Crow		70
4	L.Lyde		77
5	K.Opener		79
6	B.Cherry		64
7	A.Choke		68
8	E.Jewcation		62
9	R.Sance		48
10	A.Gravity		73
11	B.Free		44
12	J.Credible		0
13	A.Rudder		0
14	C.Needzit		0
15	B.Cherry		0
16	V.Crow		0


Time	Person	Description
7 mins	Bjorn Free	blasted a penalty into row z
18 mins	Dan Geruss	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
29 mins	Bjorn Free	after ref awarded a penalty
36 mins	Nick Ovtime	Spitting
40 mins	Lance Lyde	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
47 mins	Bjorn Free	with a lovely move from the right wing
52 mins	Hugh deMann	Scrapping
57 mins	Bjorn Free	after ref awarded a penalty
67 mins	Bjorn Free	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
74 mins	Brice Tagg	Being drunk
77 mins	Ben Dover	with a lovely move from the right wing
87 mins	Lance Lyde	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half

Match Report

There's winning a game and there's winning a game like Parkers Plonkers. Can you guess which one grinding the opposition to a bloody, gibbering pulp by battering them 8 - 0 is?
Tom Parker is starting to look like The Pied Piper, his inspirational coaching sees the Parkers Plonkers team following his every instruction and dancing to his tune.
If Mapperley were being paid to play football, they'd have had their wages stopped after this game. Parkers Plonkers had so much possession it was almost embarrassing.
Where did Mapperley get this goalie? It would appear that he's broken. They should take him back and ask for a refund.
Mapperley's forwards are way out of form, the only thing they've been getting in a net recently are satsumas.
Mapperley look about as convinving playing in the 3 5 2 formation as they would if boss Gary Smith sent them out in dresses.
The Parkers Plonkers players were overheard enthusing about their bosses man management skills after this win: "He gives the players a shoulder to talk to."
When your team leaves the field 8 - 0 winners who cares if the songs rhyme? On the strength of this rout Parkers Plonkers have few cares.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Butch Gravelneck

Rainy

Muddy Pitch