Match Report

	(0) 0	-	(7) 13
Salford City Reds				Surreal Madrid
Division Pos:11				Division Pos:9

Goal Scorers
		Percy Verance 6, 25 (pen), 45, 58 (pen), 66 (pen), 72, 79 Chip Buttie 13, 51 Moe Skeeto 19 (og) Hugo Ngetstuft 32, 38 Asif Yuwud 86

Match Statistics

5 2 3 Attacking	Formation	5 2 3 Attacking
30	Possession	70
9	Shots	19
7	Fouls	3
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
3	Offsides	8
Use Wings	Style	Longball
Attacking	Instruction	Counter Attack
Pansy	Aggression	Nutter
Moulded	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	S.Dup		75
2	S.Pull		72
3	S.Pull		73
4	M.Skeeto		58
5	J.Frayed	(90)	70
6	S.Pull		65
7	B.Dwyer		76
8	C.Needzit		73
9	B.Nessround		74
10	B.Ender		83
11	H.Seek		70
12	A.Kaholic		0
13	A.Structible		0
14	D.Sore		0
15	E.Dover		0
16	J.Atrics		0

1	R.Banks		90
2	E.Zemova		90
3	M.Oxmaul		88
4	C.Treedown	(90)	89
5	H.Uno		89
6	A.Yuwud		88
7	E.Oozami		88
8	D.Head		89
9	H.Ngetstuft		90
10	C.Buttie		87
11	P.Verance		94
12	W.Tin Lung		0
13	O.Gawd		0
14	R.O*Shea		0
15	J.Case		0
16	F.Sliced		0


Time	Person	Description
6 mins	Percy Verance	with a strike from the left wing
13 mins	Chip Buttie	from a free kick
19 mins	Moe Skeeto	with an own goal from a goal mouth fumble
25 mins	Percy Verance	after ref awarded a penalty
32 mins	Hugo Ngetstuft	with a header from the penalty area
38 mins	Hugo Ngetstuft	from the dressing room
45 mins	Percy Verance	with a brave flying header
51 mins	Chip Buttie	with a subtle shot from just inside the penalty area
58 mins	Percy Verance	after ref awarded a penalty
66 mins	Percy Verance	after ref awarded a penalty
72 mins	Percy Verance	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
79 mins	Percy Verance	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
86 mins	Asif Yuwud	from the dressing room
90 mins	Jose Frayed	No apparent reason
90 mins	Chopper Treedown	High kicking

Match Report

Surreal Madrid were very good value for this 13 - 0 massacre. At times it looked like they were the only team on the pitch. Unlike Salford City Reds who couldn't even manage to play with themselves.
All those long hours at the local rec practising Corners paid off today for Surreal Madrid.
Rick O*Shea was absent because he'd just had Sky installed and couldn't tear himself away from a fascinating documentary about whale sex.
Where did Salford City Reds get this goalie? It would appear that he's broken. They should take him back and ask for a refund.
Salford City Reds's forwards are starting to resemble a pair of nursery school scissors. They lack any real cutting edge.
The boss is meant to shape his team, Salford City Reds manager Georgi Valyukov does. But 5 2 3 Attacking is not the best shape for them.
In a posting on the Surreal Madrid messageboard, fans were extolling the virtues of Surreal Madrid boss Arsene Titz - one fan's message headed "Arsene Titz is a Sunday League Arsene Wenger!"
When your team leaves the field 13 - 0 winners who cares if the songs rhyme? On the strength of this rout Surreal Madrid have few cares.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Buster Jones Junior

Snowy

Frozen Pitch