Match Report

	(0) 0	-	(4) 8
Padstow United				HandyMan United
Division Pos:7				Division Pos:5

Goal Scorers
		Dec Board 5 Tyler Kitchen 14, 28, 66 Emery Paper 40, 50, 77 Finley Spread 90

Match Statistics

4 5 1 Attacking	Formation	3 5 2
35	Possession	65
7	Shots	18
15	Fouls	3
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
4	Offsides	7
Use Wings	Style	Continental
Counter Attack	Instruction	Defensive
Normal	Aggression	Nutter
Moulded	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	J.Nasium		77
2	S.Down	(90)	61
3	C.Lear		63
4	C.Terbocks		75
5	A.Tricity		73
6	E.Jewcation		81
7	M.Rohsopht		81
8	M.Well		83
9	F.Furter		82
10	R.Cranium		81
11	S.Manilla		80
12	V.Crow		0
13	H.First		0
14	J.Frayed		0
15	V.Tire		0
16	S.Dup		0

1	D.Pipes		88
2	S.Knife		88
3	W.Feature		88
4	A.Grease		87
5	M.Labour		89
6	D.Board		88
7	C.Crete		89
8	B.Ding		87
9	F.Spread		88
10	T.Kitchen	(90)	91
11	E.Paper		91
12	S.Roof		0
13	D.Bond		0
14	H.Saw		0
15	R.Arch		0
16	A.Mann		0


Time	Person	Description
1 mins	HandyMan United	changed from Defensive to Counter Attack
1 mins	Padstow United	changed from Counter Attack to Attacking
5 mins	Dec Board	with a dink right on the goal line
5 mins	HandyMan United	changed from Counter Attack to Attacking
5 mins	Padstow United	changed from Attacking to Defensive
14 mins	Tyler Kitchen	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
28 mins	Tyler Kitchen	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
40 mins	Emery Paper	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
45 mins	HandyMan United	changed from Attacking to Defensive
45 mins	Padstow United	changed from Defensive to Counter Attack
50 mins	Emery Paper	with a lovely move from the right wing
66 mins	Tyler Kitchen	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner
75 mins	HandyMan United	changed from Defensive to Counter Attack
75 mins	Padstow United	changed from Counter Attack to Attacking
77 mins	Emery Paper	with a wonderful chip from 30 yards out
90 mins	Sid Down	Interfering with an opponent
90 mins	Tyler Kitchen	Spitting
90 mins	Finley Spread	with a belter from his own half

Match Report

HandyMan United couldn't have wished for a better result. Everything they touched turned to goals in this 8 - 0 rout of Padstow United.
While the squad won't stop grumbling at having to practice their Corners, the results are clear out on a Sunday.
If possession is nine tenths of the law, Padstow United couldn't get themselves arrested.
Padstow United's goalie Jim Nasium couldn't catch a cold. And he barely seemed to know what a football was. Atrocious.
After today Sebastian Skinner cannot defend his team. And neither, obviously, could his defence.
After a great all round game Tyler Kitchen was singled out.
"I would do anything Sir Kit_Breaker asked of us," gushed Emery Paper after today's win. "Tomorrow morning I'm washing his car."
Padstow United call themselves a football team? They might call themselves one, after a display like this no one else is in a hurry to.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Buster Jones Junior

Hot

Normal Pitch