Match Report

	(8) 18	-	(1) 2
SlapYaPitchUp				FC Schwalbe
Division Pos:4				Division Pos:16

Goal Scorers
Sam Pull 5, 15, 20, 29, 33, 37, 49, 70, 79 (pen), 84 Joe Czarfunee 10 Carl Arm 45, 53 Dinah Sore 57 (pen) Willie Maykit 61 Friet Sitostick 10.01* 66 (og) Stu Pitt 75, 89		friet kebab 10.9 16 friet kroket 10.32 68

Match Statistics

4 1 4 1	Formation	3 4 3
63	Possession	37
18	Shots	9
6	Fouls	17
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
4	Offsides	2
Continental	Style	Passing
Counter Attack	Instruction	Attacking
Pansy	Aggression	Normal
Blades	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	D.Lesgettham		87
2	X.Money		67
3	M.Labor		80
4	B.Arrow		88
5	A.Abet		70
6	C.Arm		81
7	S.Pitt		79
8	J.Czarfunee		90
9	W.Maykit	(90)	89
10	D.Sore		77
11	S.Pull		79
12	J.Credible		0
13	A.Rudder		0
14	N.Ovtime		0
15	L.Nover		0
16	V.Crow		0

1	*.Frikandel 10.14		48
2	.Speciaal 10.3*		0
3	.Sitostick 10.01*		45
4	*.Curryworst 10.44		46
5	-.Kaassoufle 10.13		48
6	*.Bitterbal 10.39		0
7	..Viandel 10.37	(44)	46
8	*.Bamiblok 10.15		0
9	*.berepoot 10.12		0
10	*.kroket 10.32		48
11	*.kebab 10.9		48
12	*.Boulet 10.46 -1		0
13	*.Oorlog 10.11		0
14	..Sate 10.41**		0
15	*.Mexicano 10.04		0
16	*.Cervela 10.40		0


Time	Person	Description
1 mins	FC Schwalbe	changed from Attacking to Defensive
5 mins	Sam Pull	with a wonderful chip from 30 yards out
10 mins	Joe Czarfunee	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
15 mins	FC Schwalbe	changed from Defensive to Counter Attack
15 mins	Sam Pull	with a thunderous shot from distance
16 mins	*friet kebab 10.9	from a goal kick
20 mins	Sam Pull	with a shot which ricocheted in off the crossbar
29 mins	Sam Pull	from a corner
33 mins	Sam Pull	with the hand of God
37 mins	Sam Pull	with a cheeky dink through the keeper's legs
39 mins	*friet kroket 10.32	blasted a penalty into row z
41 mins	Dinah Sore	scuffed a penalty
44 mins	.Robin Viandel 10.37	Shirt pulling
45 mins	FC Schwalbe	changed from Counter Attack to Attacking
45 mins	Carl Arm	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
49 mins	Sam Pull	with the hand of God
53 mins	Carl Arm	with a subtle shot from just inside the penalty area
57 mins	Dinah Sore	after ref awarded a penalty
61 mins	Willie Maykit	with a great volley from 10 yards out
66 mins	Friet Sitostick 10.01*	with an own goal
68 mins	*friet kroket 10.32	with a little side heel inside the six yard box
70 mins	Sam Pull	after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
75 mins	Stu Pitt	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
79 mins	Sam Pull	after ref awarded a penalty
84 mins	Sam Pull	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
89 mins	Stu Pitt	with a unstoppable effort from 20 yards out
90 mins	Willie Maykit	Obstruction

Match Report

If you want to know what it feels like to be stuffed like a Christmas turkey why not ask the FC Schwalbe side who were Paxoed 18 - 2 by SlapYaPitchUp.
When SlapYaPitchUp's defence shut up shop, they don't just lock the door, they board it up and stand an armed guard outside. What a defence.
*Friet Bamiblok 10.15 was absent because he'd just had Sky installed and couldn't tear himself away from a fascinating documentary about whale sex.
FC Schwalbe's *Friet Sitostick 10.01** thought he'd play safe . Turned out as safe as Pete Townsend's credit card details. An own goal then.
SlapYaPitchUp's hardworking midfield is behind all that's good in the team's play.
SlapYaPitchUp look about as convinving playing in the 4 1 4 1 formation as they would if boss David Williams sent them out in dresses.
"He's one of those managers that anyone would give their left leg to play for," enthused striker Sam Pull of his boss David Williams following his sides win.
Despite all their Christmases coming at once, SlapYaPitchUp should still get a present. On the evidence of this one-sided contest a deckchair for their goalie might be nice.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Billy Bludgeon

Normal

Normal Pitch