Match Report

	(8) 14	-	(2) 4
KickAss United				We Play Like Girls
Division Pos:2				Division Pos:16

Goal Scorers
Ariel Hassle 5, 25, 73 Kenny Dewitt 10, 20, 35, 45, 50, 64, 68 Ulee Daway 15 Chad Terbocks 30 Dan Geruss 78, 87		Player Name 69353 16, 32 Player Name 69351 46 Player Name 69350 75

Match Statistics

Christmas Tree	Formation	3 5 2 Attacking
68	Possession	32
20	Shots	8
7	Fouls	9
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
5	Offsides	2
Longball	Style	Continental
Attacking	Instruction	Attacking
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Moulded	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	A.Kaholic		72
2	U.Daway		89
3	A.Sapple		82
4	B.Cherry		82
5	A.Tricity	(90)	75
6	D.Druff		79
7	D.Geruss		89
8	A.Hassle		82
9	X.Breath		87
10	C.Terbocks		72
11	K.Dewitt		93
12	A.Hassle		0
13	B.Dwyer		0
14	W.Dipoo		0
15	U.Daway		0
16	H.deMann		0

1	P.Name 69342		39
2	P.Name 69343		57
3	P.Name 69346	(90)	46
4	P.Name 69347		53
5	P.Name 69351		41
6	P.Name 69353		51
7	P.Name 69356		45
8	P.Name 69357		41
9	P.Name 69358		34
10	P.Name 69350		44
11	P.Name 69354		41
12	P.Name 69352		0
13	P.Name 69344		0
14	P.Name 69341		0
15	P.Name 69355		0
16	P.Name 69349		0


Time	Person	Description
5 mins	Ariel Hassle	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
10 mins	Kenny Dewitt	with a great solo effort
15 mins	Ulee Daway	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
16 mins	Player Name 69353	with a lovely move from the right wing
20 mins	Kenny Dewitt	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
25 mins	Ariel Hassle	with a subtle shot from just inside the penalty area
30 mins	Chad Terbocks	with the bumcheek of God
32 mins	Player Name 69353	with a belter from his own half
35 mins	Kenny Dewitt	from a throw in
40 mins	Al Kaholic	blasted a penalty into row z
45 mins	Kenny Dewitt	with a subtle shot from just inside the penalty area
46 mins	Player Name 69351	with a flick on
50 mins	Kenny Dewitt	with a lovely move from the right wing
59 mins	Al Kaholic	scuffed a penalty
61 mins	Player Name 69346	blasted a penalty into row z
64 mins	Kenny Dewitt	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
68 mins	Kenny Dewitt	with a thunderous shot from distance
73 mins	Ariel Hassle	with a lovely move from the right wing
75 mins	Player Name 69350	after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
78 mins	Dan Geruss	with a belter from the halfway line
87 mins	Dan Geruss	with a powerful header into the top corner
90 mins	Alec Tricity	Repeated fouling
90 mins	Player Name 69346	Annoying the referee

Match Report

With their points tally rising faster than the temperature of a schoolboy watching a Rachel Stevens video, promotion is very much on the cards for this club.
Sean Taylor has KickAss United running like a well oiled machine.
To say that We Play Like Girls played football would be stretching the point a little far seeing as they barely saw a ball all match.
Keeper Player Name 69342 should stop for some sleeping pills on his way home, there's no way he will sleep after his atrocious performance in the We Play Like Girls goal.
The KickAss United attack simple bulldozed their way through the We Play Like Girls defence. A demolition job.
We Play Like Girls's The Gaffer experiment with the 3 5 2 Attacking formation is not giving the results he wanted. Maybe he should change it before it blows up in his face.
"After a win like that," crowed manager Sean Taylor, "I can look in the mirror every day and be pleased with what I'm doing here, never rattling anyone's feathers."
After his shocking performance, We Play Like Girls's goalie Player Name 69342 admitted he could kick himself for the mistakes he made. His manager told him not to bother, he'd only miss.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Billy Bludgeon

Windy

Hard Pitch