Match Report

	(13) 24	-	(0) 1
Girthwood FC				Cider City
Division Pos:8				Division Pos:5

Goal Scorers
Darius Lesgettham 4, 13, 27, 44, 55, 58, 65 (pen), 68, 75, 78 Nick Ovtime 7, 17, 37, 85 (pen) Fletcher Bisceps 10, 47, 88 Buster Cherry 20 Marc Sinon 24, 41, 71 Telly Vision 31 Fletcher Bisceps 34 (og) Stuart Young 51		Fletcher Bisceps 68

Match Statistics

4 4 2	Formation	4 5 1
69	Possession	31
24	Shots	8
8	Fouls	12
0	Yellow Cards	0
0	Red Cards	0
9	Offsides	4
Passing	Style	Passing
Attacking	Instruction	Attacking
Normal	Aggression	Normal
Studded	Boots	Studded

Player Ratings

1	N.Clayton	48
2	T.Vision	48
3	H.Voor	48
4	M.Skeeto	0
5	S.Young	48
6	B.Cherry	48
7	T.Svet	48
8	F.Bisceps	48
9	M.Sinon	46
10	N.Ovtime	48
11	D.Lesgettham	48
12	B.Dover	0
13	B.Dwyer	0
14	H.Fire	0
15	V.Veeta	0
16	K.Opener	0

1	H.deMann	47
2	F.Bisceps	47
3	B.Early	46
4	D.Druff	46
5	W.Melon	44
6	T.Urchips	47
7	A.Abet	48
8	M.Labor	0
9	B.Nessround	0
10	H.Annsaw	0
11	J.Credible	0
12	N.Ovtime	0
13	L.Sirr	0
14	X.Breath	0
15	W.Dipoo	0
16	H.deMann	0


Time	Person	Description
4 mins	Darius Lesgettham	with a great chip from the left wing
7 mins	Nick Ovtime	with the hand of God
10 mins	Fletcher Bisceps	with a scissor kick on the edge of the box
13 mins	Darius Lesgettham	from the dressing room
17 mins	Nick Ovtime	with a belter from his own half
20 mins	Buster Cherry	from the dressing room
24 mins	Marc Sinon	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
27 mins	Darius Lesgettham	with a dink right on the goal line
31 mins	Telly Vision	with a dink right under the goalkeeper's nose
34 mins	Fletcher Bisceps	with an own goal
37 mins	Nick Ovtime	with an amazing lob from an acute angle
41 mins	Marc Sinon	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
44 mins	Darius Lesgettham	from a corner
47 mins	Fletcher Bisceps	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
51 mins	Stuart Young	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
55 mins	Darius Lesgettham	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
58 mins	Darius Lesgettham	from a goal kick
61 mins	Darius Lesgettham	blasted a penalty into row z
65 mins	Darius Lesgettham	after ref awarded a penalty
68 mins	Darius Lesgettham	with a thunderous shot from distance
68 mins	Fletcher Bisceps	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
71 mins	Marc Sinon	with a cheeky dink through the keeper's legs
75 mins	Darius Lesgettham	with a cheeky dink through the keeper's legs
78 mins	Darius Lesgettham	with a great volley from 10 yards out
85 mins	Nick Ovtime	after ref awarded a penalty
88 mins	Fletcher Bisceps	with the bumcheek of God

Match Report

Girthwood FC absolutely wiped the floor with Cider City in a mismatch of epic proportions. Bagging in 24 goals, Girthwood FC should pick on someone their own size next time.
Like an untended garden, the untrained Cider City have begun to grow wild, unruly and not at all trim. Their manager should invest some time in training.
Cider City had so little possession they could have referred Girthwood FC to the monopolies and mergers commission.
Much to his the delight of the opposition, Fletcher Bisceps stuck a beautifully weighted backpass right into his own net. Girthwood FC could only marvel at the boy's obvious skill.
What a performance by Girthwood FC's strikers! They struck more fear into the opposition than a pantomime baddy. They're in behind you!
In such a blood and guts encounter you'd expect there to be a glut of yellow cards. And there would have been if the ref had actually turned up.
Most of Girthwood FC clearly thought 4 4 2 was the boss' phone number. Why else did they ignore his formation instructions.
Cider City manager Agnes Brown told irate fans: "If it wasn't for their goals, Girthwood FC wouldn't have won."
Girthwood FC are a side who don't know when to stop. Not so much King Canute, more Old King Goals. He was a merry old soul too.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Buster Jones Junior

Hot

Hard Pitch