Match Report

	(1) 1	-	(8) 14
Green Shield Tornadoes				Liverpool FC Cape Town
Division Pos:15				Division Pos:14

Goal Scorers
Bill Ding 15 (og)		Val Veeta 6, 11, 68 Brighton Early 18, 24, 30, 73 Rick Kleiner 35 (og) Fletcher Bisceps 41 Artie Choke 45, 56, 62, 85 Bill Board 79 (og)

Match Statistics

3 5 2 Attacking	Formation	Diamond
38	Possession	62
9	Shots	17
13	Fouls	9
1	Yellow Cards	0
1	Red Cards	1
4	Offsides	9
Continental	Style	Continental
Counter Attack	Instruction	Attacking
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Blades	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	O.Whackew		65
2	R.Kleiner		45
3	B.Board		46
4	L.DeHand	(77)	59
5	A.Kaholic		46
6	W.Melon	(40)	57
7	B.Ender		48
8	A.Tricity		55
9	B.Ding		63
10	D.Geruss		0
11	S.Dup		0
12	M.Absent		0
13	M.Well		0
14	L.Nover		0
15	L.Lyde		0
16	V.Tire		0

1	A.Meway		88
2	C.Arm		81
3	W.Bago		77
4	B.Ding		71
5	C.Lear	(49)	56
6	V.Veeta		46
7	J.Credible		87
8	F.Bisceps	(77)	61
9	F.Bisceps		81
10	A.Choke		90
11	B.Early		59
12	D.Sore	(77)	71
13	J.Nasium		0
14	B.Cherry		0
15	P.Pantz		0
16	W.Bago		0


Time	Person	Description
6 mins	Val Veeta	with a shot which ricocheted in off the crossbar
11 mins	Val Veeta	from a goal kick
15 mins	Bill Ding	after a shot took a cruel deflection off him
18 mins	Brighton Early	with a spectacular bicycle kick
24 mins	Brighton Early	with a belter from his own half
30 mins	Brighton Early	with a dink right under the goalkeeper's nose
35 mins	Rick Kleiner	with an own goal
40 mins	Walter Melon	Faking injury
41 mins	Fletcher Bisceps	from a throw in
45 mins	Artie Choke	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
49 mins	Chanda Lear	Faking injury
50 mins	Artie Choke	blasted a penalty into row z
56 mins	Artie Choke	with a unstoppable effort from 20 yards out
57 mins	Otto Whackew	scuffed a penalty
62 mins	Artie Choke	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
68 mins	Val Veeta	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner
73 mins	Brighton Early	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
76 mins	Otto Whackew	scuffed a penalty
77 mins	Len DeHand	Faking injury
77 mins	Fletcher Bisceps	A broken leg
79 mins	Bill Board	with an own goal from a goal mouth fumble
85 mins	Artie Choke	with a stunning effort that went in off the post

Match Report

Liverpool FC Cape Town did their goal difference a favour by absolutely tonking a bedraggled Green Shield Tornadoes 14 - 1. Results like that should come with a health warning. Not a bad day all in all.
Today Liverpool FC Cape Town's defence were as hard to pass as the Dog And Duck on Free Lager day.
Vlad Tire was absent because he'd just had Sky installed and couldn't tear himself away from a fascinating documentary about whale sex.
A goal with a stunning effort that went in off the post rounded off an impressive game for Liverpool FC Cape Town's new hero Artie Choke, who scored 4 times.
Liverpool FC Cape Town's attackers were so inventive, Leonardo Da Vinci was casting an envious eye at proceedings.
After collecting cards like stamps this season, Liverpool FC Cape Town player Chanda Lear was sent off - but not for stamping.
Most of Liverpool FC Cape Town clearly thought Diamond was the boss' phone number. Why else did they ignore his formation instructions.
"The one thing the manager has given us is grit, determination and resolve," claimed Liverpool FC Cape Town midfielder Fletcher Bisceps.
So near yet so far. All Green Shield Tornadoes had to do to secure a draw was score a mere 14 times. Not too much to ask.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Butch Gravelneck

Hot

Normal Pitch