Match Report

	(4) 9	-	(0) 0
Tunneltiger				The Seg
Division Pos:1				Division Pos:3

Goal Scorers
Dick Tater 15, 45, 53, 79 Justin Credible 22 (og) Abe Rudder 30, 86 Hugh Mungous 61 Tate Urchips 70

Match Statistics

3 5 2	Formation	3 6 1
70	Possession	30
23	Shots	8
11	Fouls	7
2	Yellow Cards	2
0	Red Cards	0
5	Offsides	2
Longball	Style	Continental
Counter Attack	Instruction	Attacking
Normal	Aggression	Pansy
Studded	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	R.Kleiner	(45)	71
2	H.Mungous		90
3	D.Pipes		88
4	B.Cherry		80
5	S.Manilla	(69)	88
6	L.Lyde		88
7	V.Crow		87
8	T.Urchips		88
9	E.Roids		88
10	D.Tater		93
11	A.Rudder	(37)	79
12	R.Meeblind		0
13	W.Piece		0
14	J.King		0
15	L.Sirr		0
16	T.Urchips	(45)	88

1	O.Whackew		73
2	J.Credible		64
3	J.Frayed		74
4	A.Thetires	(37)	70
5	E.Dover		68
6	J.Case		74
7	S.Cola		66
8	R.Sance		77
9	S.Pitt		47
10	L.Lyde		46
11	D.Geruss	(61)	77
12	R.Banks		0
13	R.Ingleaves		0
14	X.Money		0
15	B.Frapples		0
16	B.Dwyer		0


Time	Person	Description
1 mins	Tunneltiger	changed from Counter Attack to Attacking
7 mins	Dick Tater	scuffed a penalty
15 mins	Dick Tater	with a header from the penalty area
22 mins	Justin Credible	with an own goal
30 mins	Abe Rudder	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
37 mins	Abe Rudder	Foul and abusive language
37 mins	Aaron Thetires	Foul and abusive language
45 mins	Dick Tater	with a wonderful chip from 30 yards out
53 mins	Dick Tater	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
61 mins	Dan Geruss	Time wasting
61 mins	Hugh Mungous	with a header from the penalty area
69 mins	Sam Manilla	No apparent reason
70 mins	Tate Urchips	with an unbelievable shot from his own penalty area
79 mins	Dick Tater	with a lovely move from the right wing
86 mins	Abe Rudder	with a great solo effort

Match Report

Not so much a competitive game of football as a 90-minute target practise session for Tunneltiger who battered the The Seg goal finding the target more often than not for a 9 - 0 rout.
Craig Hindle has Tunneltiger running like a well oiled machine.
Lou Sirr was absent because he'd just had Sky installed and couldn't tear himself away from a fascinating documentary about whale sex.
Quite why The Seg's Justin Credible had his shorts on his head and the ball tucked up his shirt when he fell over his own goal line remains a mystery. Mafia interference is the most probable explanation.
Tunneltiger's attackers were so inventive, Leonardo Da Vinci was casting an envious eye at proceedings.
Abe Rudder and Aaron Thetires had an Anglo-Saxon exchange which saw them both shown the yellow card.
The reckless actions of Aaron Thetires handed Tunneltiger a golden opportunity. Shame Dick Tater blew it from the spot. Should have kicked it like normal people.
"That's not the best we've played recently," offered manager Charlie Perkin following his side's defeat. "We've played a lot better than that and won. We need to start doing that again."
Carry on in this vein and The Seg will soon be the strongest side in the league. When you're bottom you'll be propping up the entire division.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Simon Pieman

Rainy

Muddy Pitch