The Elite Cup Round 1 Sat, 19 Oct 2024

	(1) 1	-	(15) 33
We Play Like Girls				Toe Poke FC

Goal Scorers
Player Name 16696 45		Carl Arm 3, 15, 17, 20, 23, 26, 28, 33, 39, 48, 50, 55, 58, 63, 66, 71, 74, 77, 85, 87, 90 Lou Stooth 6 Bowen Arrow 9, 36 Bart Ender 12, 53, 69, 75, 80, 82 Lou Sirr 31, 42 Huang Annsaw 60

Match Statistics
3 5 2 Attacking		Formation		2 5 3
33		Possession		67
9		Shots		33
13		Fouls		11
2		Yellow Cards		3
1		Red Cards		0
3		Offsides		4
Continental		Style		Longball
Attacking		Instruction		Defensive
Normal		Aggression		Normal
Studded		Boots		Moulded

Player Ratings
1 P.Name 16682 0 2 P.Name 16683 (25,51) 29 3 P.Name 16686 (75) 26 4 P.Name 16687 29 5 P.Name 16691 27 6 P.Name 16693 29 7 P.Name 16696 27 8 P.Name 16697 42 9 P.Name 16698 26 10 P.Name 16690 0 11 P.Name 16694 29 12 P.Name 16692 0 13 P.Name 16684 0 14 P.Name 16681 0 15 P.Name 16695 0 16 P.Name 16689 0		1 S.Cola 89 2 C.Mass (1) 78 3 H.Annsaw 87 4 E.Dover (1) 53 5 B.Arrow 89 6 S.Pitt 89 7 L.Sirr (61) 89 8 O.Whackew (89) 87 9 H.Annsaw (32) 89 10 H.Mungous 87 11 A.Bomb (1) 45 12 W.Melon 0 13 O.Whackew (1) 86 14 B.Free 0 15 L.Stooth (1) 90 16 C.Arm (1) 94

Time		Person	Description
1 mins		Toe Poke FC	changed from Defensive to Attacking
3 mins		Carl Arm	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
6 mins		Lou Stooth	with a unstoppable effort from 20 yards out
9 mins		Bowen Arrow	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
12 mins		Bart Ender	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
15 mins		Carl Arm	with a thunderous shot from distance
17 mins		Carl Arm	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
20 mins		Carl Arm	with a header from the penalty area
23 mins		Carl Arm	with a lovely move from the right wing
25 mins		Player Name 16683	Time wasting
26 mins		Carl Arm	with a belter from the halfway line
28 mins		Carl Arm	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
31 mins		Lou Sirr	with a belter from his own half
32 mins		Huang Annsaw	Unsporting behaviour
33 mins		Carl Arm	with a scissor kick on the edge of the box
36 mins		Bowen Arrow	with a cheeky dink through the keeper's legs
39 mins		Carl Arm	with a scissor kick on the edge of the box
42 mins		Lou Sirr	from a goal kick
45 mins		Toe Poke FC	changed from Attacking to Defensive
45 mins		Player Name 16696	with a header from the penalty area
48 mins		Carl Arm	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner
50 mins		Carl Arm	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
51 mins		Player Name 16683	Unsporting behaviour
53 mins		Bart Ender	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
55 mins		Carl Arm	with a dink right under the goalkeeper's nose
58 mins		Carl Arm	with a lucky shot that just sneaked inside the post
60 mins		Huang Annsaw	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
61 mins		Lou Sirr	Indecent exposure
63 mins		Carl Arm	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
66 mins		Carl Arm	with a great chip from the left wing
69 mins		Bart Ender	with a great chip from the left wing
71 mins		Carl Arm	after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
74 mins		Carl Arm	with a shot which ricocheted in off the crossbar
75 mins		Toe Poke FC	changed from Defensive to Counter Attack
75 mins		Player Name 16686	Obstruction
75 mins		Bart Ender	with a shot which ricocheted in off the crossbar
77 mins		Carl Arm	with a spectacular bicycle kick
80 mins		Bart Ender	with a belter from the halfway line
82 mins		Bart Ender	with a great chip from the left wing
85 mins		Carl Arm	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
87 mins		Carl Arm	with a lovely move from the right wing
89 mins		Otto Whackew	Obstruction
90 mins		Carl Arm	with a great chip from the left wing

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Match Report

If there was a rock to crawl under at the final whistle, the whole We Play Like Girls side would have been making their way towards it after losing out in The The Elite Cup Final. Toe Poke FC are fitter than the blond one out of Girls Aloud, after plenty of work on Corners. Player Name 16689 didn't show for We Play Like Girls because he was still recovering from a near-death experience in the night. He drank so much he thought he was going to die. We Play Like Girls could save themselves some money next season by not bothering with a goalkeeper. They'd save a fortune on pies alone. We Play Like Girls's attackers were doing their best impressions of a incompetent detective. They looked clueless. There are less suitable formations for We Play Like Girls's squad than 3 5 2 Attacking, but Will Simmonds would be advised to ignore those too. We Play Like Girls manager Will Simmonds told irate fans: "If it wasn't for their goals, Toe Poke FC wouldn't have won." If We Play Like Girls want to keep their shorts clean, maybe We Play Like Girls should consider getting the their washing machine fixed. And while they're at it, why not ask the plumber if he can mend their leaking defence.

Extra Information
Referee	Weather	Pitch
Simon Pieman	Rainy	Soft Pitch