Match Report

	(1) 1	-	(8) 16
KickAss United				HOWE FC

Goal Scorers
Hugh deMann 38		Buster Cherry 5 Larry Gilaker 11, 33, 44, 66, 81 Alk CLR Kaseltzer 17 Lob CLR Batchford 22, 27 Ulee Daway 38, 49, 71, 87 Chanda Lear 55 Ben CLR Dover 60 Sam CLR Urai 76

Match Statistics

2 3 2 1 2	Formation	4 3 3
31	Possession	69
8	Shots	17
7	Fouls	7
0	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
0	Offsides	1
Passing	Style	Longball
Counter Attack	Instruction	Defensive
Pansy	Aggression	Normal
Moulded	Boots	Studded

Player Ratings

1	A.Kaholic	77
2	A.Tricity	76
3	A.Nino	68
4	U.Daway	70
5	H.deMann	69
6	A.Kaholic	59
7	A.Hassle	81
8	X.Breath	59
9	A.Hassle	58
10	U.Daway	71
11	A.Gravity	86
12	J.Atrics	0
13	W.Dipoo	0
14	B.Dwyer	0
15	D.Geruss	0
16	C.Terbocks	0

1	A.Birthday	(45)	45
2	A.CLR Kaseltzer		87
3	L.Sirr		61
4	W.CLR Piece		81
5	M.DeLawn		89
6	F.CLR Bisceps		89
7	D.CLR Lect		90
8	S.CLR Urai		87
9	U.Daway		92
10	L.CLR Batchford	(45)	45
11	L.Gilaker	(90)	92
12	B.Ranks	(45)	90
13	S.Gharp		0
14	W.Melon		0
15	J.CLR Czarfunee		0
16	B.CLR Dover	(45)	90


Time	Person	Description
5 mins	Buster Cherry	from the dressing room
11 mins	Larry Gilaker	with a belter from his own half
17 mins	Alk CLR Kaseltzer	from a corner
22 mins	Lob CLR Batchford	with a thunderous shot from distance
27 mins	Lob CLR Batchford	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
33 mins	Larry Gilaker	with a scissor kick on the edge of the box
38 mins	Hugh deMann	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
38 mins	Ulee Daway	with a great volley from 10 yards out
44 mins	Larry Gilaker	with a strike from the left wing
49 mins	Ulee Daway	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
55 mins	Chanda Lear	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
60 mins	Ben CLR Dover	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
66 mins	Larry Gilaker	from a throw in
71 mins	Ulee Daway	with a lucky shot that just sneaked inside the post
76 mins	Sam CLR Urai	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
81 mins	Larry Gilaker	with a great chip from the left wing
87 mins	Ulee Daway	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
90 mins	Larry Gilaker	Time wasting

Match Report

"No one hands you cups on a plate," scowled manager Sean Taylor after his team weren't offered The The Champions Shield on plate. They'll have to do better if they make a final again.
The Tory Party look more organised than this lot. KickAss United manager Sean Taylor is lucky to still have a job after today's effort.
Was it Christmas out there? Must have seemed like it to HOWE FC who were gifted possession every time KickAss United touched the ball.
Ulee Daway scored after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot to take his total for the match to 4 goals.
The World Cup was but a distant memory today. It was like Brazil hadn't even discovered the game yet with HOWE FC's longball game shining through against KickAss United's passing style.
Like getting your plumber to do the gardening, KickAss United's Sean Taylor is wasting a lot of potential by insisting on a 2 3 2 1 2 formation.
"The gaffer got it right tactically," commented goalkeeper Abbie Birthday, "We can win against anyone on this kind of form. unless someone beats us."
The vet added insult to injury when he arrived with a slobbering Labrador who licked all the players and slapped the club with a £1,000 bill for lab tests.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Wilmot Piddlethwaite

Rainy

Muddy Pitch