Match Report

	(1) 1	-	(5) 12
Betty Swollocks XI				Jellybellies
Division Pos:6				Division Pos:2

Goal Scorers
Dudley Dell 41 (pen)		Dan Geruss 8, 53, 60, 65 Telly Vision 20 (pen), 79 (pen) Jacques Strap 27 Bill Ding 35 Ali Gator 41, 47 Fletcher Bisceps* 72 Cupid Stunt 85 (og)

Match Statistics

4 5 1 Attacking	Formation	4 5 1
37	Possession	63
9	Shots	18
16	Fouls	12
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
1	Offsides	2
Use Wings	Style	Use Wings
Defensive	Instruction	Attacking
Nutter	Aggression	Nutter
Studded	Boots	Studded

Player Ratings

1	M.Foron		81
2	B.Sastard		76
3	G.Hit		76
4	B.Gastard		68
5	M.Passive		51
6	L.Watts	(78)	72
7	C.Stunt		68
8	B.Fig		74
9	N.Fackered		75
10	F.Pucker		67
11	D.Dell		88
12	S.Smit		0
13	B.Hollocks		0
14	C.Funt		0
15	S.Pitt		0
16	F.Blake		0

1	V.Tire	(1)	70
2	S.Manilla		85
3	A.Gator		88
4	M.Labor		87
5	B.Dover	(1)	45
6	F.Bisceps*		80
7	S.Manilla		89
8	J.Strap		88
9	C.Mass	(48)	89
10	T.Vision		88
11	E.Whatarmy	(1)	45
12	A.Meway		0
13	D.Geruss	(1)	92
14	B.Board		0
15	B.Ding	(1)	90
16	O.Whackew	(1)	77


Time	Person	Description
1 mins	Jellybellies	changed from Attacking to Defensive
1 mins	Betty Swollocks XI	changed from Defensive to Attacking
8 mins	Dan Geruss	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
20 mins	Telly Vision	after ref awarded a penalty
27 mins	Jacques Strap	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
30 mins	Jellybellies	changed from Defensive to Counter Attack
30 mins	Betty Swollocks XI	changed from Attacking to Counter Attack
35 mins	Bill Ding	with a dink right on the goal line
38 mins	Fletcher Bisceps*	A mild concussion
41 mins	Dudley Dell	after ref awarded a penalty
41 mins	Ali Gator	with a belter from his own half
47 mins	Ali Gator	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
48 mins	Chris Mass	Head butting
53 mins	Dan Geruss	after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
60 mins	Jellybellies	changed from Counter Attack to Attacking
60 mins	Betty Swollocks XI	changed from Counter Attack to Defensive
60 mins	Dan Geruss	with a great volley from 10 yards out
65 mins	Dan Geruss	with a dink right on the goal line
72 mins	Fletcher Bisceps*	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner
78 mins	Lee Watts	High kicking
79 mins	Telly Vision	after ref awarded a penalty
85 mins	Cupid Stunt	with an own goal from a goal mouth fumble

Match Report

Betty Swollocks XI will just want to go home and forget this astonishing 12 - 1 thumping by a Jellybellies side who just don't know when to stop. Maybe they could have spared their blushes if they just stayed at home in the first place.
With a tactical master class like this it's only a matter of time before Jellybellies manager Jelly Belly will be writing books on football theory.
If only Betty Swollocks XI's Cupid Stunt took some time to think, this horrible tragedy could have been averted. Putting the ball in your own net is a bad thing.
Betty Swollocks XI's manager Barton Felch needs to whip his forwards into shape. Although after todays shocker he would be excused for just whipping them.
Despite insisting he would start for Jellybellies, Fletcher Bisceps* misses out due to a mild concussion.
"A great display, It was particularly pleasing that our goalscorers scored tonight," gushed victorious Jellybellies boss Jelly Belly.
With a mere 12 goals being the difference between the two sides, this wasn't so much a game of football as a successful target practice session for Jellybellies.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Wilmot Piddlethwaite

Rainy

Muddy Pitch