Match Report

	(2) 3	-	(5) 9
Middlesbrough Football Club				Donz Warriors
Division Pos:16				Division Pos:13

Goal Scorers
Jason Euell 28 Malcome Chirste 45, 60		Midas Well 8, 79 Richard Cranium 17, 53, 88 Barb Dwyer 26 Adam Meway 35, 44, 69

Match Statistics

5 2 3	Formation	4 3 3 Attacking
47	Possession	53
11	Shots	14
3	Fouls	7
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
3	Offsides	4
Use Wings	Style	Use Wings
Counter Attack	Instruction	Attacking
Normal	Aggression	Pansy
Moulded	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	S.Pull		47
2	S.Parnaby		31
3	J.Woodgate		29
4	A.Taylor		35
5	R.Huth	(61)	31
6	C.Parker		33
7	H.Mungous		46
8	G.Boateng		32
9	M.Viduka		30
10	M.Chirste		48
11	J.Euell		48
12	A.Yakbu		0
13	M.Schwarzer		0
14	B.Jones		0
15	M.Maccarone		0
16	S.Downing		0

1	A.Luminum		70
2	S.Knot		46
3	L.Stooth		80
4	A.Birthday		80
5	B.Free	(63)	52
6	V.Crow		72
7	B.Dwyer		46
8	A.Thetires		65
9	M.Well		72
10	A.Meway		68
11	R.Cranium		79
12	C.Lear		0
13	T.Urchips		0
14	N.Ovtime		0
15	X.Breath		0
16	N.Ovtime		0


Time	Person	Description
8 mins	Midas Well	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
12 mins	Malcome Chirste	blasted a penalty into row z
17 mins	Richard Cranium	with a subtle shot from just inside the penalty area
26 mins	Barb Dwyer	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
28 mins	Jason Euell	with a dink right on the goal line
35 mins	Adam Meway	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
44 mins	Adam Meway	with a cheeky dink through the keeper's legs
45 mins	Malcome Chirste	with a lucky shot that just sneaked inside the post
53 mins	Richard Cranium	with a subtle shot from just inside the penalty area
60 mins	Malcome Chirste	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
61 mins	Robert Huth	Being drunk
63 mins	Bjorn Free	Head butting
69 mins	Adam Meway	with a great chip from the left wing
75 mins	Mark Viduka	blasted a penalty into row z
79 mins	Midas Well	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
88 mins	Richard Cranium	from a corner

Match Report

Donz Warriors looked more like ballerinas than footballers. The 9 - 3 scoreline looks more like a lucky escape than beating they could have, and should have, taken.
Today Donz Warriors's defence were as hard to pass as the Dog And Duck on Free Lager day.
Donz Warriors's hat trick hero Richard Cranium took a lap of honour after the game to celebrate his haul. It took him a while.
The Middlesbrough Football Club's defence will at least go home clean, they slid in for no tackles, the opposition's forwards went clean past them and even hung them out to dry!
Middlesbrough Football Club's Keith Short is clearly deeply in love with 5 2 3. His team however can't stand it. A trial seperation must be in order.
Under pressure Middlesbrough Football Club boss Keith Short told the local press: "I just felt that the whole night, the conditions and taking everything into consideration and everything being equal, and everything is equal, we should have got something from the game - but we didn't."
Middlesbrough Football Club were so out of their depth even a lifeboat couldn't have saved them from this result.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Michael McLintock

Normal

Hard Pitch