Match Report

	(1) 3	-	(5) 9
Witton Warriors				Park My Seagull
Division Pos:15				Division Pos:16

Goal Scorers
Al Luminum 42 Ed Ible 60 Sid Down 76		Lewis Collins 7 Aaron Jarvis 17, 26, 43, 48, 69 Kieran Evans 35 Frank Nouble 78, 87

Match Statistics

3 5 2 Attacking	Formation	2 5 3
41	Possession	59
10	Shots	13
8	Fouls	10
1	Yellow Cards	3
0	Red Cards	0
6	Offsides	7
Passing	Style	Passing
Attacking	Instruction	Counter Attack
Pansy	Aggression	Normal
Studded	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	F.Bisceps	(32)	62
2	M.Skeeto		44
3	S.Pitt		48
4	P.Pantz		67
5	K.Dewitt		48
6	B.Board		66
7	J.King		45
8	A.Luminum		56
9	S.Down		67
10	E.Ible	(46)	80
11	R.Sance		46
12	J.Credible		0
13	L.DeHand		0
14	O.Whackew	(32)	46
15	T.Burr		0
16	A.Kaseltzer		0

1	M.Halstead	(1)	45
2	H.deMann	(1)	78
3	D.Moxey	(1)	48
4	J.Stobbs		48
5	K.Evans		48
6	A.Hall		48
7	K.Dawson		48
8	T.Lapslie	(32)	47
9	L.Collins		48
10	A.Jarvis	(65)	48
11	F.Nouble		48
12	R.Lovett	(1)	48
13	S.Donnellan	(1) (65)	48
14	B.McGavin	(1)	45
15	R.Hanson		0
16	T.Fadahunsi		0


Time	Person	Description
1 mins	Park My Seagull	changed from Counter Attack to Attacking
7 mins	Lewis Collins	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
17 mins	Aaron Jarvis	with a lovely move from the right wing
20 mins	Al Luminum	scuffed a penalty
26 mins	Aaron Jarvis	with a great chip from the left wing
32 mins	Tom Lapslie	Time wasting
32 mins	Fletcher Bisceps	A broken collar bone
35 mins	Kieran Evans	with a great solo effort
42 mins	Al Luminum	from a free kick
43 mins	Aaron Jarvis	with a brave flying header
45 mins	Park My Seagull	changed from Attacking to Counter Attack
46 mins	Ed Ible	Obstruction
48 mins	Aaron Jarvis	with a belter from his own half
55 mins	Frank Nouble	scuffed a penalty
60 mins	Park My Seagull	changed from Counter Attack to Defensive
60 mins	Ed Ible	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
65 mins	Aaron Jarvis	Squabbling
65 mins	Shaun Donnellan	Squabbling
69 mins	Aaron Jarvis	with an amazing lob from an acute angle
76 mins	Sid Down	with a belter from the halfway line
78 mins	Frank Nouble	from the dressing room
87 mins	Frank Nouble	with a flick on

Match Report

Park My Seagull didn't even break sweat to beat Witton Warriors by a convincing 9 - 3.
If this is how master tactician One Paul plays a game of football, we wouldn't want to be playing him at chess!
There must be a reason why Witton Warriors manager Walter Hsu insists on continuing to play the woeful Otto Whackew in goal. His turn out today was truly shocking. Couldn't stop traffic.
The Passing style was all the rage this evening. While Park My Seagull was made to measure, Witton Warriors's was straight off the peg. Only one fitted properly.
2 Park My Seagull players had a strip torn off them after they were booked for squabbling over who had the nicest bum. Butch Gravelneck said none of them had particularly nice bottoms, but remarked that Aaron Jarvis had nice legs.
Witton Warriors's Walter Hsu experiment with the 3 5 2 Attacking formation is not giving the results he wanted. Maybe he should change it before it blows up in his face.
"I'm not a believer in luck," manager One Paul told the press following his side's victory, "but I do believe you need it."
It's not going to be this straightforward every week, much is the pity for Park My Seagull . They'd win everything in sight if it was.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Butch Gravelneck

Normal

Soft Pitch