Match Report

	(9) 19	-	(1) 3
BUCCANEERS				Unlucky Ducks United
Division Pos:3				Division Pos:6

Goal Scorers
Justin Credible 5, 14, 18, 22, 26, 35, 39, 52, 57, 61, 66, 71, 76, 81, 85, 90 Leo Tarred 30 Warren Piece 44 (pen) Robin Banks 47		Joe Czarfunee 35, 82 Adam Bomb 59

Match Statistics

4 4 2 Attacking	Formation	4 4 2 Attacking
39	Possession	61
19	Shots	9
13	Fouls	10
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
3	Offsides	5
Passing	Style	Continental
Defensive	Instruction	Defensive
Pansy	Aggression	Normal
Moulded	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	W.Piece		46
2	A.Kaholic		68
3	E.Ible		48
4	L.Tarred	(34)	71
5	R.Ingleaves		48
6	W.Bago		79
7	R.Banks		44
8	S.Knot		45
9	A.Kaholic		43
10	A.Hassle		52
11	J.Credible		47
12	D.Buratto		0
13	A.Nino	(34) (46)	45
14	H.Annsaw		0
15	S.Dup		0
16	A.Kaseltzer		0

1	B.Frapples		45
2	J.Czarfunee		0
3	E.Ible	(72)	47
4	R.Ingleaves		46
5	L.Tarred		48
6	L.Briccant		47
7	L.Tarred		47
8	A.Bomb		44
9	L.Briccant		0
10	L.Briccant		0
11	J.Czarfunee		46
12	L.Lyde		0
13	C.Needzit		0
14	M.Absent		0
15	A.Kaholic		0
16	B.Dwyer		0


Time	Person	Description
5 mins	Justin Credible	from a corner
9 mins	Warren Piece	blasted a penalty into row z
12 mins	Joe Czarfunee	scuffed a penalty
14 mins	Justin Credible	with a shot which ricocheted in off the crossbar
18 mins	Justin Credible	with a dink right under the goalkeeper's nose
22 mins	Justin Credible	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
23 mins	Joe Czarfunee	blasted a penalty into row z
26 mins	Justin Credible	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
30 mins	Leo Tarred	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
34 mins	Leo Tarred	A mild concussion
35 mins	Justin Credible	with a powerful header into the top corner
35 mins	Joe Czarfunee	with a unstoppable effort from 20 yards out
39 mins	Justin Credible	with a wonderful chip from 30 yards out
44 mins	Warren Piece	after ref awarded a penalty
46 mins	Al Nino	Indecent exposure
47 mins	Robin Banks	with a belter from his own half
48 mins	Ed Ible	blasted a penalty into row z
52 mins	Justin Credible	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
57 mins	Justin Credible	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
59 mins	Adam Bomb	from a throw in
61 mins	Justin Credible	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
66 mins	Justin Credible	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
71 mins	Justin Credible	with a thunderous shot from distance
72 mins	Ed Ible	Obstruction
76 mins	Justin Credible	with the bumcheek of God
81 mins	Justin Credible	with a cheeky dink through the keeper's legs
82 mins	Joe Czarfunee	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
85 mins	Justin Credible	with a lucky shot that just sneaked inside the post
90 mins	Justin Credible	with a powerful header into the top corner

Match Report

This game could have so easily ended in a draw had Unlucky Ducks United not conceded so many unnecessary goals. 19 to be precise.
When BUCCANEERS's defence shut up shop, they don't just lock the door, they board it up and stand an armed guard outside. What a defence.
Lou Briccant was absent because he'd just had Sky installed and couldn't tear himself away from a fascinating documentary about whale sex.
It was such a bad match for Unlucky Ducks United goalie Bob Frapples that, at half time, he asked the ref to check that there was only one ball on the pitch.
After today Jokke Potte cannot defend his team. And neither, obviously, could his defence.
Sure the Brazillian squad could make the 4 4 2 Attacking formation look impressive, Unlucky Ducks United however make it look very ordinary.
"The gaffer says that was without a doubt one of our best showings," claimed defender Leo Tarred. "What did he tell us at halftime? He said that if you can't stand the heat in the dressing room, get out of the kitchen."
The vet added insult to injury when he arrived with a slobbering Labrador who licked all the players and slapped the club with a £1,000 bill for lab tests.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Jasper Goodhead

Hot

Hard Pitch