Match Report

	(0) 0	-	(5) 11
Bedwell Dynamoes				Tipton Comrades
Division Pos:5				Division Pos:1

Goal Scorers
		Marcus Absent 8, 47, 69 Warren Piece 16, 39 Hugh Mungous 23, 61 Casey Needzit 31 (og) Telly Vision 54, 77 Joe King 84

Match Statistics

4 5 1	Formation	4 3 3
37	Possession	63
10	Shots	20
8	Fouls	6
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
3	Offsides	5
Use Wings	Style	Longball
Attacking	Instruction	Attacking
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Moulded	Boots	Astros

Player Ratings

1	A.Bomb		77
2	P.Pantz		74
3	A.Rudder		72
4	J.Nasium		61
5	S.Manilla		61
6	W.Melon	(64)	79
7	A.Bomb		80
8	C.Needzit		64
9	J.King		70
10	A.Sapple		51
11	M.Labor		82
12	M.Rohsopht		0
13	J.Nasium		0
14	L.DeHand		0
15	S.Freak		0
16	A.Rudder		0

1	S.Freak		87
2	J.King		89
3	S.Freak		89
4	H.Seek	(64)	81
5	L.DeHand		85
6	L.Tarred	(60)	84
7	T.Vision		89
8	S.Manilla		88
9	M.Absent		89
10	H.Mungous		81
11	W.Piece		89
12	L.Stooth		0
13	W.Bago	(64)	86
14	A.Meway		0
15	S.Dup		0
16	A.Birthday		0


Time	Person	Description
8 mins	Marcus Absent	with a scissor kick on the edge of the box
16 mins	Warren Piece	with a belter from the halfway line
23 mins	Hugh Mungous	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
31 mins	Casey Needzit	with an own goal from a goal mouth fumble
39 mins	Warren Piece	with a thunderous shot from distance
47 mins	Marcus Absent	with a brave flying header
54 mins	Telly Vision	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
60 mins	Leo Tarred	Time wasting
61 mins	Hugh Mungous	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
64 mins	Walter Melon	Annoying the referee
64 mins	Hayden Seek	A mild concussion
69 mins	Marcus Absent	after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
77 mins	Telly Vision	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
84 mins	Joe King	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside

Match Report

Bedwell Dynamoes will just want to go home and forget this astonishing 11 - 0 thumping by a Tipton Comrades side who just don't know when to stop. Maybe they could have spared their blushes if they just stayed at home in the first place.
The Tory Party look more organised than this lot. Bedwell Dynamoes manager Chris Newbold is lucky to still have a job after today's effort.
Abe Rudder missed the game because choir practise overran.
Casey Needzit's odds for scoring the first goal were so generous he couldn't resist a little flutter on himself. He scooped a couple of hundred quid by beating his own keeper. Easy money eh?
What a performance by Tipton Comrades's strikers! They struck more fear into the opposition than a pantomime baddy. They're in behind you!
The animals went into the ark two by two for a very good reason, if there's an explanation why Bedwell Dynamoes go out in 4 5 1 formation we're still looking for it.
"It was a great win for us," Tipton Comrades defender Hayden Seek told the local press. "The gaffer is delighted with the manner of the win. He says we've taken to it like a duck out of water."
After a hammering like this Bedwell Dynamoes's manager Chris Newbold must be feeling pretty stupid. If you told him Christmas was just around the corner, he'd go looking for it.

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