Match Report

	(10) 20	-	(0) 0
MurderOnZidanesFloor				Ipswich fc
Division Pos:1				Division Pos:3

Goal Scorers
Midas Well 4, 29, 38, 53, 66, 78, 83, 88 Val Crow 8 (pen), 12, 17 (pen), 21, 34, 43, 49, 57 (pen), 62 (pen), 70, 74 (pen) Dick Tater 25

Match Statistics

3 4 3	Formation	3 2 5
70	Possession	30
23	Shots	4
13	Fouls	8
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
5	Offsides	1
Longball	Style	Continental
Defensive	Instruction	Defensive
Normal	Aggression	Pansy
Blades	Boots	Studded

Player Ratings

1	B.Ding		90
2	A.Luminum	(84)	48
3	L.Tarred		48
4	W.Piece		88
5	B.Free		90
6	X.Money		88
7	D.Tater		89
8	A.Luminum		46
9	M.Well		94
10	V.Crow		94
11	K.Dewitt		48
12	X.Breath		0
13	J.Frayed		0
14	J.Czarfunee		0
15	T.Burr		0
16	A.Gravity		0

1	E.Roids		75
2	H.Mungous		70
3	R.Cranium	(84)	64
4	X.Money	(33)	59
5	B.Dwyer		76
6	P.Pantz		80
7	N.Ovtime		84
8	W.Dipoo		75
9	J.Frayed		63
10	B.Frapples		52
11	E.Ible	(56)	45
12	W.Maykit		0
13	M.Labor	(84)	48
14	L.Tarred	(56)	45
15	J.Strap		0
16	J.Frayed	(33) (59)	63


Time	Person	Description
1 mins	MurderOnZidanesFloor	changed from Defensive to Attacking
4 mins	Midas Well	with a wonderful chip from 30 yards out
8 mins	Val Crow	after ref awarded a penalty
12 mins	Val Crow	with a great chip from the left wing
17 mins	Val Crow	after ref awarded a penalty
21 mins	Val Crow	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
25 mins	Dick Tater	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
29 mins	Midas Well	with a dink right under the goalkeeper's nose
33 mins	Xavier Money	A broken thumb
34 mins	Val Crow	with a cheeky dink through the keeper's legs
38 mins	Midas Well	with a wonderful chip from 30 yards out
43 mins	Val Crow	with a great solo effort
49 mins	Val Crow	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
53 mins	Midas Well	with a belter from the halfway line
56 mins	Ed Ible	A broken thumb
57 mins	Val Crow	after ref awarded a penalty
59 mins	Jose Frayed	Flying a kite
62 mins	Val Crow	after ref awarded a penalty
66 mins	Midas Well	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
70 mins	Val Crow	with a thunderous shot from distance
74 mins	Val Crow	after ref awarded a penalty
78 mins	Midas Well	from a corner
83 mins	Midas Well	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
84 mins	Walter Melon	Time wasting
84 mins	Richard Cranium	A broken arm
88 mins	Midas Well	with an amazing lob from an acute angle

Match Report

Ipswich fc will just want to go home and forget this astonishing 20 - 0 thumping by a MurderOnZidanesFloor side who just don't know when to stop. Maybe they could have spared their blushes if they just stayed at home in the first place.
The Ipswich fc squad are spending their Tuesday evenings down the boozer, as Alex Bowyer ignores the opportunity of improving his teams skills and fitness and has cancelled training.
MurderOnZidanesFloor had so much possession that they were allowed to officially adopt the ball after the game by social services.
After a game like this you wouldn't trust Ipswich fc's goalie Emma Roids to keep goldfish.
Ipswich fc's forwards are starting to resemble a pair of nursery school scissors. They lack any real cutting edge.
Ensuring your best players get to play in their best positions is vital. 3 2 5 was a good stab, unfortunately for Alex Bowyer most of his squad are best on the bench.
"It's not good enough," fumed Ipswich fc boss Alex Bowyer during a radio interview after the game. "Getting tuned over like that. What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio."
If getting beaten 6-0 hurts, getting beaten 20 - 0 requires a fleet of ambulances to whisk the entire Ipswich fc to hospital at the full-time whistle.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Terrence Frisk

Snowy

Frozen Pitch