Match Report

	(7) 14	-	(0) 0
MurderOnZidanesFloor				FC Star Wars
Division Pos:1				Division Pos:8

Goal Scorers
Val Crow 5 (pen), 25, 51 (pen), 70, 78 Midas Well 12, 38, 45, 58, 64, 84 Dick Tater 18 Bjorn Free 32 Hayden Seek 90

Match Statistics

3 4 3	Formation	3 4 3
70	Possession	30
21	Shots	8
9	Fouls	7
4	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
5	Offsides	2
Longball	Style	Passing
Defensive	Instruction	Attacking
Normal	Aggression	Pansy
Studded	Boots	Moulded

Player Ratings

1	B.Ding		87
2	A.Luminum	(79)	48
3	L.Tarred		48
4	W.Piece		90
5	B.Free		88
6	X.Money	(58)	87
7	D.Tater		89
8	S.Pitt		88
9	M.Well	(45)	88
10	V.Crow		92
11	H.Seek	(79)	89
12	X.Breath		0
13	A.Luminum		0
14	J.Czarfunee		0
15	T.Burr		0
16	A.Gravity		0

1	D.Lect		80
2	L.Tarred		75
3	S.Urai	(58)	71
4	C.Lear		70
5	K.Dewitt		82
6	D.Buratto		80
7	A.Kaholic		72
8	J.Atrics		66
9	D.Geruss		81
10	P.Zaria		42
11	K.Cook		59
12	U.Daway		0
13	A.Nino		0
14	R.Banks		0
15	L.Briccant		0
16	B.Ender		0


Time	Person	Description
1 mins	MurderOnZidanesFloor	changed from Defensive to Counter Attack
5 mins	Val Crow	after ref awarded a penalty
12 mins	Midas Well	with a header from the penalty area
18 mins	Dick Tater	with a shot which ricocheted in off the crossbar
25 mins	Val Crow	with a brave flying header
32 mins	Bjorn Free	with a dink right on the goal line
38 mins	Midas Well	with a flick on
45 mins	MurderOnZidanesFloor	changed from Counter Attack to Attacking
45 mins	Midas Well	Squabbling
45 mins	Midas Well	with a shot which ricocheted in off the crossbar
51 mins	Val Crow	after ref awarded a penalty
58 mins	Sam Urai	Head butting
58 mins	Xavier Money	Head butting
58 mins	Midas Well	with a lucky shot that just sneaked inside the post
64 mins	Midas Well	with a spectacular bicycle kick
70 mins	Val Crow	from a throw in
78 mins	Val Crow	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
79 mins	Walter Melon	Squabbling
79 mins	Hayden Seek	Squabbling
84 mins	Midas Well	with a belter from the halfway line
90 mins	Hayden Seek	with a rocket from outside the penalty area

Match Report

FC Star Wars made extremely hard work of this encounter with MurderOnZidanesFloor. In fact, that's the problem, if they had worked extremely hard they wouldn't be licking their wounds after suffering this wretched 14 - 0 beating.
The Tory Party look more organised than this lot. FC Star Wars manager Joe Bidjoba is lucky to still have a job after today's effort.
Losing possession of the ball is stupid. Giving it away to the opposition gift-wrapped is lunacy as FC Star Wars discovered to their cost.
The goalkeeper's trade is a lonely one. FC Star Wars's Daryl Lect is going to be shunned by his team mates, making him feel especially lonely, after this shocking performance.
At every opportunity MurderOnZidanesFloor's midfield passed. If this was their passing exam, they'd have passed.
2 MurderOnZidanesFloor players had a strip torn off them after they were booked for squabbling over who had the nicest bum. Simon Pieman said none of them had particularly nice bottoms, but remarked that Al Luminum had nice legs.
Most of FC Star Wars clearly thought 3 4 3 was the boss' phone number. Why else did they ignore his formation instructions.
FC Star Wars manager Joe Bidjoba told irate fans: "If it wasn't for their goals, MurderOnZidanesFloor wouldn't have won."
Results that look like phone numbers? Maybe MurderOnZidanesFloor could reign themselves in for their next match and only try beating the opposition by a tennis score.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Simon Pieman

Rainy

Muddy Pitch