Match Report

	(5) 10	-	(0) 0
MurderOnZidanesFloor				South Mercia
Division Pos:1				Division Pos:12

Goal Scorers
Nick Ovtime 7, 64 Hayden Seek 15, 23, 31, 39, 72 Stu Pitt 48, 56 Walter Melon 80

Match Statistics

2 5 3	Formation	2 3 2 1 2
68	Possession	32
13	Shots	8
3	Fouls	9
0	Yellow Cards	0
0	Red Cards	0
4	Offsides	3
Longball	Style	Use Wings
Defensive	Instruction	Counter Attack
Nutter	Aggression	Pansy
Moulded	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	B.Cherry		88
2	W.Melon		89
3	W.Maykit		87
4	B.Ender		88
5	D.Tater		88
6	N.Ovtime		87
7	B.Board	(90)	45
8	S.Pitt		88
9	M.Well		89
10	V.Crow	(45)	45
11	H.Seek		93
12	W.Piece		0
13	J.Atrics		0
14	B.Arrow	(45)	88
15	B.Free		0
16	X.Money	(90)	88

1	C.Lear	74
2	C.Arm	75
3	A.Gravity	64
4	X.Breath	67
5	N.Ovtime	72
6	A.Meway	50
7	J.Case	74
8	S.Knot	77
9	T.Burr	64
10	H.Fire	79
11	L.Sirr	76
12	X.Money	0
13	B.Dwyer	0
14	C.Needzit	0
15	J.King	0
16	A.Hugnkiss	0


Time	Person	Description
7 mins	Nick Ovtime	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
15 mins	Hayden Seek	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
23 mins	Hayden Seek	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
31 mins	Hayden Seek	with a thunderous shot from distance
39 mins	Hayden Seek	with an amazing lob from an acute angle
48 mins	Stu Pitt	from a goal kick
56 mins	Stu Pitt	with a dink right under the goalkeeper's nose
64 mins	Nick Ovtime	with a brave flying header
72 mins	Hayden Seek	with a lovely move from the right wing
80 mins	Walter Melon	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
90 mins	Bill Board	A broken thumb

Match Report

South Mercia were used by MurderOnZidanesFloor to wipe the floor in a mismatch of epic proportions. Perhaps after beating this sorry looking team 10 - 0, they should pick on someone their own size next time.
At least Ainsley Darby is saving the fans some money - he's been crossed off all their Christmas card lists after his recent coaching performances.
South Mercia's Casey Needzit missed the game after the vicar at his local church insisted he stop for a chat and a cup of tea after the service.
The only hope South Mercia have of turning goalie Chanda Lear into a decent keeper is to feed him pies non-stop and hope he puts on enough weight to wedge himself between the posts.
An impressive attacking display. MurderOnZidanesFloor are like Jordan, they have plenty of quality up front.
Remarkably, not a single player incurred the wrath of the ref. The reason, it was discovered afterwards, was that the ref couldn't actually write.
Most of South Mercia clearly thought 2 3 2 1 2 was the boss' phone number. Why else did they ignore his formation instructions.
"Plain and simple, we were the victim of his own downfall," insisted South Mercia manager Ainsley Darby. "We pressed the self destruct button ourselves."
No one likes to see their team take such a savage beating. Maybe it's why the South Mercia supporters decided to leave their specs at home.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Buster Jones Junior

Rainy

Soft Pitch