Match Report

	(0) 0	-	(7) 15
The Seg				Hardcore Warriors
Division Pos:14				Division Pos:6

Goal Scorers
		Eileen Dover 6, 20, 25, 45, 49, 63, 74, 87 Eileen Dover 30, 54, 80 Carl Arm 35 Chris Mass 40, 59 Val Lay 68

Match Statistics

2 5 3	Formation	3 1 3 1 2
42	Possession	58
10	Shots	15
4	Fouls	6
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
3	Offsides	4
Longball	Style	Continental
Defensive	Instruction	Counter Attack
Normal	Aggression	Pansy
Studded	Boots	Studded

Player Ratings

1	M.DeLawn 10.7		48
2	J.Nasium 10.5	(58)	48
3	E.Ible		0
4	R.Ingleaves 6.12		0
5	D.Buratto 10.19		48
6	B.Crobbery 10.37		47
7	C.Mass* 6.19		48
8	B.Nessround		48
9	J.Frayed 8.34		48
10	F.Bisceps 9.8		48
11	W.Piece 8.11		48
12	O.Whackew 10.46		0
13	B.Nessround 8.22		0
14	J.Nasium 6.34		0
15	M.Labor		0
16	V.Lay		0

1	S.Down		84
2	V.Lay		81
3	B.Board		87
4	X.Breath		79
5	C.Mass		74
6	A.Structible		80
7	V.Veeta		88
8	C.Arm		85
9	S.Urai		77
10	E.Dover	(62)	86
11	E.Dover		91
12	U.Daway		0
13	N.Ovtime		0
14	A.Luminum		0
15	M.Rohsopht		0
16	B.Early		0


Time	Person	Description
6 mins	Eileen Dover	from the dressing room
6 mins	The Seg	changed from Defensive to Counter Attack
20 mins	Eileen Dover	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
25 mins	Eileen Dover	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
30 mins	Eileen Dover	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
35 mins	Carl Arm	after he went through a non-existent gap leaving him with a clear shot
40 mins	Chris Mass	with a great solo effort
45 mins	The Seg	changed from Counter Attack to Attacking
45 mins	Eileen Dover	from a free kick
49 mins	Eileen Dover	with a wonderful chip from 30 yards out
54 mins	Eileen Dover	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
58 mins	Jim Nasium 10.5	Squabbling
59 mins	Chris Mass	after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
62 mins	Eileen Dover	Being drunk
63 mins	Eileen Dover	with an amazing lob from an acute angle
68 mins	Val Lay	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
74 mins	Eileen Dover	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
75 mins	The Seg	changed from Attacking to Defensive
80 mins	Eileen Dover	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
87 mins	Eileen Dover	after a pigeon distracted the keeper

Match Report

Not so much a competitive game of football as a 90-minute target practise session for Hardcore Warriors who battered the The Seg goal finding the target more often than not for a 15 - 0 rout.
Hardcore Warriors's defence are going to have to find somewhere else to keep their wallets. They've still got The Seg's attack in their pockets.
With Russell Ingleaves 6.12 missing today's game due to a visit from his gran. , it's no wonder The Seg took a beating. So will Russell Ingleaves 6.12 when his teammates get hold of him.
The Seg's keeper Moe DeLawn 10.7 couldn't have stopped a beachball on this kind of form.
A terrible day for The Seg's midfield, they couldn't even pass wind.
Hardcore Warriors's Devil Devas experiment with the 3 1 3 1 2 formation is not giving the results he wanted. Maybe he should change it before it blows up in his face.
"Their keeper played very well," offered underfire The Seg manager Chaz Perkin. "And it wasn't the best pitch, the weather didn't help and the ref must have taken a bung, but I am not making excuses."
There was only one team with a mountain to climb here and it wasn't the free-scoring Hardcore Warriors. They were at the peak, while The Seg struggled with their laces at base camp.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Michael McLintock

Snowy

Muddy Pitch