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MATCH REPORT
Fri, 13 Mar 2026 (Day: 30/47)
Credit Balance = 0
The Division Thu, 12 Mar 2026
 
(3) 8 - (5) 11
Discharge United   Collier Row Royals
Division Pos:14
  Division Pos:13
 
Goal Scorers
Hugh deMann 12, 34, 46, 67, 76
Len DeHand 23
Gael LR Givet 56 (og)
Al Luminum 86  
Freddie LR Adu 7, 13, 38, 65, 88
Alberto LR Gilardino 19 (pen)
Richard Cranium 33 (og)
Jeremy Menez 46, 52
Lucas LR Biglia 74
Otto Whackew 81 (og)  
 
Match Statistics
4 1 4 1Formation4 3 3 Attacking
31Possession69
9Shots16
15Fouls10
3Yellow Cards2
0Red Cards1
2Offsides5
PassingStylePassing
Counter AttackInstructionCounter Attack
NormalAggressionNormal
BladesBootsStudded
 
Player Ratings
1S.Freak33
2W.Bago (54)32
3L.DeHand (79)36
4F.Furter25
5A.Kaholic26
6D.Sore41
7N.Ovtime30
8A.Luminum (30)34
9O.Whackew28
10R.Cranium28
11H.deMann40
12J.King0
13A.Meway0
14B.Arrow0
15E.Roids0
16E.Dover0
1A.Akinveev48
2G.Pique (30,70)41
3V.Kompany44
4G.Givet (36)42
5L.Miguel44
6L.Biglia42
7L.Miller42
8R.Mavuba42
9A.Gilardino43
10F.Adu44
11J.Menez43
12R.Ribery0
13G.Cheillini0
14L.Camp0
15V.Bojinov0
16B.Jones0
 
Time   Person Description
 7 minsFreddie LR Aduwith a stunning effort that went in off the post
 12 minsHugh deMannwith a unstoppable effort from 20 yards out
 13 minsFreddie LR Aduwith a lovely move from the right wing
 19 minsAlberto LR Gilardinoafter ref awarded a penalty
 23 minsLen DeHandafter a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
 26 minsAlberto LR Gilardinoscuffed a penalty
 30 minsAl LuminumHead butting
 30 minsGerard LR PiqueHead butting
 33 minsRichard Craniumwith an own goal
 34 minsHugh deMannfrom a goal kick
 36 minsGael LR GivetObstruction
 38 minsFreddie LR Aduwith a strike from the left wing
 46 minsHugh deMannwith a stunning effort that went in off the post
 46 minsJeremy Menezafter a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
 52 minsJeremy Menezwith a dink right on the goal line
 54 minsWinnie BagoBeing drunk
 56 minsGael LR Givetwith an own goal from a goal mouth fumble
 58 minsAlberto LR Gilardinoscuffed a penalty
 65 minsFreddie LR Aduafter a pigeon distracted the keeper
 67 minsHugh deMannafter a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
 70 minsGerard LR PiqueScrapping
 74 minsLucas LR Bigliaafter he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
 76 minsHugh deMannwith a great volley from 10 yards out
 79 minsLen DeHandRepeated fouling
 81 minsOtto Whackewwith an own goal
 86 minsAl Luminumwith a lucky rebound off the keeper
 88 minsFreddie LR Aduwith pin-point accuracy into the far corner
 
 
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Match Report
Following this defeat, they're beginning to look very much like a lost cause as far as this league goes. The drop surely beckons unless they can start to pick up points. And quickly.
Kieran Downey has Collier Row Royals running like a well oiled machine.
If possession is nine tenths of the law, Discharge United couldn't get themselves arrested.
Otto Whackew's own goal is was the kind of blunder he'll be having nightmares about for the rest of the season. And all of the next season. And the one after that… yup, that bad.
By both kicking off to play a Passing style game the game could have gone either way. Collier Row Royals edged it and were worthy winners on the night.
Al Luminum and Gerard LR Pique both found themselves in Terrence Frisk's book after headbutting each other like rutting stags.
Discharge United look about as convinving playing in the 4 1 4 1 formation as they would if boss ben cowley sent them out in dresses.
"It wouldn't have taken much extra for to have won," bawled ben cowley after being outwitted by Collier Row Royals's manager. "We didn't underestimate them, they were just a lot better than we thought."
All things considered, it wasn't so much a case of bad luck for Discharge United, just a case of bad. Luck didn't enter into it.
 
Extra Information
 
Referee Weather Pitch
 
Terrence Frisk
 
Normal
 
Normal Pitch
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