 |  | The Division Sun, 1 Mar 2026 | |
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(6) 11 | - | (2) 4 |  |
| Newbury | FC Steaua Bucharest | |||
| Division Pos:13 |
Division Pos:16 |
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| Goal Scorers | ||||
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Justin Case 5 Russell Ingleaves 13, 35, 51, 66, 79 Otto Whackew 20 Richard Cranium 27 Sam Manilla 42, 72 (pen) Tim Burr 57 |
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Bjorn Free 21, 43, 65 Carl Arm 87 |
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| Match Statistics | ||||
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| 3 5 2 | Formation | 1 8 1 | ||
| 70 | Possession | 30 | ||
| 22 | Shots | 4 | ||
| 7 | Fouls | 7 | ||
| 0 | Yellow Cards | 1 | ||
| 0 | Red Cards | 0 | ||
| 8 | Offsides | 2 | ||
| Use Wings | Style | Continental | ||
| Attacking | Instruction | Defensive | ||
| Pansy | Aggression | Pansy | ||
| Moulded | Boots | Moulded | ||
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| Time | Person | Description | ||
| 5 mins |  | Justin Case | with a cheeky dink through the keeper's legs | |
| 13 mins | | Russell Ingleaves | with an unbelievable shot from his own penalty area | |
| 20 mins | | Otto Whackew | after a pigeon distracted the keeper | |
| 21 mins | | Bjorn Free | after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net | |
| 27 mins | | Richard Cranium | after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net | |
| 35 mins | | Russell Ingleaves | with a strike from the left wing | |
| 42 mins | | Sam Manilla | with a subtle shot from just inside the penalty area | |
| 43 mins | | Bjorn Free | from the dressing room | |
| 51 mins | | Russell Ingleaves | with a brave flying header | |
| 57 mins | | Tim Burr | with the hand of God | |
| 65 mins | | Bjorn Free | with a belter from his own half | |
| 66 mins | | Russell Ingleaves | with a lucky rebound off the keeper | |
| 72 mins | | Sam Manilla | after ref awarded a penalty | |
| 79 mins | | Russell Ingleaves | with a scissor kick on the edge of the box | |
| 87 mins | | Carl Arm | with the hand of God | |
| 90 mins |  | Hugo First | Repeated diving | |
| 90 mins |  | Russell Ingleaves | A mild concussion | |
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| Match Report |
| Newbury took the game to FC Steaua Bucharest throughout their 11 - 4 whitewash. The FC Steaua Bucharest fans were calling for the head of manager Doru Ban after this game. He at least knows where his head is, unlike his arse or elbow. Bjorn Free missed the game because he'd ordered a pizza the night before and it still hadn't arrived. After waiting for 14 hours, he wasn't going to take the chance of going out and missing it. And he figured he'd probably get a discount too. FC Steaua Bucharest's keeper, Emma Roids, should have been a comedian. That way he'd give his team mates a good laugh with losing them every game he plays in. An incredible display by Newbury's midfield. They were like a moron on Mastermind. Pass. Pass. Pass. Pass… Most of FC Steaua Bucharest clearly thought 1 8 1 was the boss' phone number. Why else did they ignore his formation instructions. "The one thing I didn't expect is the way we didn't play," offered manager Doru Ban. "We can only point the finger of blame at ourselves." Newbury played like Greek gods during this magnificent 11 - 4 win. Their manager claimed afterwards that their centaur forward was the key to their victory. |
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