Match Report

	(1) 1	-	(7) 13
Newbury				The Liverbirds
Division Pos:13				Division Pos:2

Goal Scorers
Russell Ingleaves 18		Adam Meway..652 5 Xavier Breath..643 9, 44 Ben Dover..640 * 13 Pete Zaria...645 27, 33, 56 (pen), 60, 78 Alex Kaholic..634 39 Tate Urchips...695 48, 82 Chris Mass..647 * 52

Match Statistics

4 1 2 3	Formation	4 5 1
30	Possession	70
10	Shots	18
7	Fouls	17
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
1	Offsides	2
Continental	Style	Use Wings
Attacking	Instruction	Defensive
Pansy	Aggression	Nutter
Moulded	Boots	Studded

Player Ratings

1	B.Early		75
2	R.Ingleaves		69
3	D.Sore		72
4	F.Furter		68
5	W.Bago	(90)	65
6	R.Ingleaves	(72)	59
7	R.Cranium		79
8	J.Case		74
9	D.Geruss		73
10	S.Manilla		82
11	R.Ingleaves		78
12	T.Burr	(72)	74
13	A.Hugnkiss		0
14	S.Down		0
15	K.Cook		0
16	M.Labor		0

1	V.Crow...468		88
2	A.Kaholic..601		85
3	A.Meway..652		89
4	D.Lesgettham..542 *	(1)	86
5	V.Tire..580 *		85
6	A.Gator..632	(1)	45
7	C.Mass..647 *		89
8	X.Breath..643		88
9	B.Dover..640 *		89
10	A.Kaseltzer....633	(1)	79
11	P.Zaria...645		92
12	A.Kaholic..634	(1)	89
13	T.Urchips...695	(1) (40)	87
14	A.Luminum..564 *		0
15	C.Arm..551 *		0
16	V.Tire..580	(1)	86


Time	Person	Description
1 mins	The Liverbirds	changed from Defensive to Attacking
5 mins	Adam Meway..652	with a spectacular bicycle kick
9 mins	Xavier Breath..643	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
13 mins	Ben Dover..640 *	with a dink right under the goalkeeper's nose
15 mins	The Liverbirds	changed from Attacking to Defensive
18 mins	Russell Ingleaves	with a great volley from 10 yards out
27 mins	Pete Zaria...645	with a shot which ricocheted in off the crossbar
33 mins	Pete Zaria...645	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
39 mins	Alex Kaholic..634	with a strike from the left wing
40 mins	Tate Urchips...695	Faking injury
44 mins	Xavier Breath..643	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
45 mins	The Liverbirds	changed from Defensive to Attacking
48 mins	Tate Urchips...695	with a dink right under the goalkeeper's nose
52 mins	Chris Mass..647 *	with a great chip from the left wing
56 mins	Pete Zaria...645	after ref awarded a penalty
60 mins	The Liverbirds	changed from Attacking to Counter Attack
60 mins	Pete Zaria...645	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
72 mins	Russell Ingleaves	A broken finger
73 mins	Pete Zaria...645	scuffed a penalty
78 mins	Pete Zaria...645	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
82 mins	Tate Urchips...695	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
90 mins	Winnie Bago	Repeated fouling

Match Report

After a performance this poor Newbury don't deserve to even be on the same pitch as the vastly superior The Liverbirds. The 13 - 1 beating they took suggests they weren't actually on the same pitch.
Maybe Newbury should consider a varied programme of training instead a relentless training programme of Throw-ins, the team were bored of themselves before the whistle had blown.
Some you win, some you lose. When you can't even win possession, where's the hope?
Newbury's goalie Brighton Early couldn't catch a cold. And he barely seemed to know what a football was. Atrocious.
You could give The Liverbirds's defence bearskin hats and stand them in a box outside Buckingham Palace. On current form they'd defend anything.
The animals went into the ark two by two for a very good reason, if there's an explanation why Newbury go out in 4 1 2 3 formation we're still looking for it.
The The Liverbirds players were overheard enthusing about their bosses man management skills after this win: "He gives the players a shoulder to talk to."
The Liverbirds played like Greek gods during this magnificent 13 - 1 win. Their manager claimed afterwards that their centaur forward was the key to their victory.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Wilmot Piddlethwaite

Rainy

Muddy Pitch