Match Report

	(4) 9	-	(2) 5
Cheltenham Winners				Colchester united
Division Pos:16				Division Pos:5

Goal Scorers
Otto Whackew 10 Kenny Dewitt 20, 41, 71 Frank Furter 31, 80 Pete Zaria 52 (pen), 61, 90		Brice Tagg 16 Hugh Mungous 33 Fletcher Bisceps 47 (pen), 63 Warren Piece 80 (pen)

Match Statistics

3 4 3	Formation	4 4 2 Attacking
55	Possession	45
16	Shots	13
10	Fouls	7
1	Yellow Cards	2
0	Red Cards	0
4	Offsides	3
Passing	Style	Continental
Attacking	Instruction	Attacking
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Blades	Boots	Studded

Player Ratings

1	D.Sore		82
2	S.Cola		73
3	K.Dewitt	(57)	76
4	A.Structible		83
5	L.Nover		79
6	N.Ovtime		76
7	F.Furter		79
8	U.Daway		55
9	K.Dewitt		91
10	P.Zaria		81
11	O.Whackew		62
12	W.Leggrowbach		0
13	M.Skeeto		0
14	C.Lear		0
15	P.Pantz		0
16	A.Gator		0

1	D.Pipes		71
2	C.Lear		65
3	J.Czarfunee		71
4	A.Tricity	(61)	68
5	A.Kaseltzer		55
6	A.Choke		44
7	B.Tagg		88
8	L.Sirr		83
9	J.Case		57
10	W.Piece	(57)	80
11	F.Bisceps		83
12	M.Absent		0
13	S.Urai		0
14	D.Tater		0
15	B.Ding		0
16	E.Roids		0


Time	Person	Description
10 mins	Otto Whackew	from a throw in
16 mins	Brice Tagg	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner
20 mins	Kenny Dewitt	with a scissor kick on the edge of the box
31 mins	Frank Furter	with a dink right on the goal line
33 mins	Hugh Mungous	with a unstoppable effort from 20 yards out
41 mins	Kenny Dewitt	after he sprung the offside trap leaving just the keeper to beat
47 mins	Fletcher Bisceps	after ref awarded a penalty
52 mins	Pete Zaria	after ref awarded a penalty
57 mins	Kenny Dewitt	Foul and abusive language
57 mins	Warren Piece	Foul and abusive language
61 mins	Alec Tricity	Two-footed tackle
61 mins	Pete Zaria	with a strike from the left wing
63 mins	Fletcher Bisceps	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
71 mins	Kenny Dewitt	from a throw in
80 mins	Frank Furter	with a stunning effort that went in off the post
80 mins	Warren Piece	after ref awarded a penalty
90 mins	Pete Zaria	after a pigeon distracted the keeper

Match Report

On their day, Colchester united are capable of beating anyone. After losing 9 - 5 this obviously wasn't the day they thought it was.
Today Cheltenham Winners's defence were as hard to pass as the Dog And Duck on Free Lager day.
Emma Roids was absent because he'd just had Sky installed and couldn't tear himself away from a fascinating documentary about whale sex.
Pete Zaria's hat trick was rounded off after a pigeon distracted the keeper.
Cheltenham Winners applauded their defenders off the pitch after a performance Moore, Butcher and Adams would have been proud of.
Kenny Dewitt and Warren Piece had a name-calling session that earned them both a yellow card.
Cheltenham Winners manager, Daniel Cullen, was so incensed when Colchester united scored from the penalty spot, he had to be calmed down by his mum.
"In all honesty, it was a game we should have won," claimed manager Will Armstrong. "We lost it because we thought we were going to win it. But then again, I thought that there was no way we were going to get a result."
No matter how comfortable Cheltenham Winners looked here, they shouldn't let it got to their heads. Anyway, a big old arm is comfortable. This is football.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Simon Pieman

Hot

Normal Pitch