Match Report

	(7) 15	-	(2) 4
madrid real				Chew Valley Raiders
Division Pos:4				Division Pos:5

Goal Scorers
Tate Urchips 5, 12, 31, 42, 64, 69 Hugh Mungous 18 (pen), 36 (pen), 49 (pen), 55 (pen) Xavier Breath 24, 60 Adam Sapple 75, 85 Harrison Fire 79		Ruzan Afielding 16 Dejan Yordanova 32, 48 Ayca Yumlu 90

Match Statistics

4 1 4 1	Formation	4 3 3
63	Possession	37
20	Shots	5
5	Fouls	13
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	2
5	Offsides	1
Passing	Style	Passing
Attacking	Instruction	Defensive
Pansy	Aggression	Normal
Studded	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	H.Mungous		90
2	W.Bago	(63)	71
3	A.Sapple		88
4	H.Fire		80
5	A.Luminum		77
6	X.Breath		86
7	K.Opener		88
8	X.Breath		88
9	V.Tire		84
10	A.Hassle		68
11	T.Urchips		89
12	W.Piece		0
13	L.DeHand		0
14	H.deMann		0
15	H.deMann		0
16	W.Maykit		0

1	L.Gut		53
2	R.Afielding	(75)	70
3	S.Hirst		58
4	T.Langley		67
5	T.Parsons	(84)	62
6	S.Nerpel	(32)	62
7	S.Saha		65
8	C.Pasculata	(59)	65
9	M.Bober		56
10	D.Yordanova	(60)	77
11	K.Hauer		59
12	A.Licabell		0
13	L.Capriati		0
14	J.Monae		0
15	A.Yumlu	(60)	62
16	R.Rei	(75)	53


Time	Person	Description
5 mins	Tate Urchips	with the hand of God
12 mins	Tate Urchips	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
16 mins	Ruzan Afielding	with the bumcheek of God
18 mins	Hugh Mungous	after ref awarded a penalty
24 mins	Xavier Breath	from a throw in
31 mins	Tate Urchips	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
32 mins	Stefan Nerpel	Faking injury
32 mins	Dejan Yordanova	after a dog ran on pitch and put the ball into the net
36 mins	Hugh Mungous	after ref awarded a penalty
42 mins	Tate Urchips	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
48 mins	Dejan Yordanova	with a powerful header into the top corner
49 mins	Hugh Mungous	after ref awarded a penalty
55 mins	Hugh Mungous	after ref awarded a penalty
59 mins	Cam Pasculata	Repeated diving
60 mins	Xavier Breath	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
63 mins	Winnie Bago	Obstruction
64 mins	Tate Urchips	with a brave flying header
69 mins	Tate Urchips	with a great volley from 10 yards out
75 mins	Adam Sapple	with a scissor kick on the edge of the box
79 mins	Harrison Fire	with a thunderous shot from distance
84 mins	Tim Parsons	Being drunk
85 mins	Adam Sapple	with a great chip from the left wing
90 mins	Ayca Yumlu	with a scissor kick on the edge of the box

Match Report

You can't let teams like madrid real play their game. They were at their most dangerous here and boy were they scoring goals? Yes they were, as Chew Valley Raiders found out to their cost with a 15 - 4 drubbing.
When madrid real's defence get bored of football they could become Permanent Felt Tips. On today's impressive display they're all Magic Markers.
Chew Valley Raiders's goalie Lars Gut did little to thwart madrid real's attack. In fact he did nothing at all. Crap.
madrid real's midfield were more than midfield generals. They were Imperial Warlords and blew their opposite numbers off the park.
Chew Valley Raiders player Tim Parsons's had his knuckle duster, catapult and popgun confiscated by the referee before the game, so it was no surprise when he was sent off.
Most of Chew Valley Raiders clearly thought 4 3 3 was the boss' phone number. Why else did they ignore his formation instructions.
"Their keeper played very well," offered underfire Chew Valley Raiders manager Dave Leader. "And it wasn't the best pitch, the weather didn't help and the ref must have taken a bung, but I am not making excuses."
If Chew Valley Raiders want to keep their shorts clean, maybe Chew Valley Raiders should consider getting the their washing machine fixed. And while they're at it, why not ask the plumber if he can mend their leaking defence.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Albert Boneshaker

Hot

Hard Pitch