Match Report

	(6) 11	-	(1) 2
Whitey Wanderers				kirkedge cripples
Division Pos:9				Division Pos:12

Goal Scorers
Chris Mass 6, 69, 78, 87 Robin Banks 14, 21 Eileen Dover 29, 37, 62 Ken Opener 45 Sam Urai 53		Ewan Whatarmy 33 Ariel Hassle 65

Match Statistics

3 1 3 1 2	Formation	1 8 1
61	Possession	39
15	Shots	10
6	Fouls	7
1	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
4	Offsides	3
Passing	Style	Longball
Counter Attack	Instruction	Attacking
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Studded	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	B.Free		89
2	M.Labor	(59)	47
3	K.Opener		85
4	K.Opener		89
5	R.Banks		80
6	A.Choke		88
7	E.Dover		91
8	C.Needzit		86
9	F.Bisceps		59
10	S.Urai		74
11	C.Mass		92
12	T.Burr		0
13	S.Manilla		0
14	D.Geruss		0
15	F.Bisceps		0
16	D.Sore		0

1	L.Tarred		80
2	J.Nasium		74
3	R.Sance		75
4	W.Bago		76
5	J.Case		74
6	A.Hassle	(61)	77
7	C.Lear		70
8	A.Nino		63
9	E.Whatarmy		71
10	S.Down		0
11	R.Meeblind	(59)	67
12	J.Frayed		0
13	W.Melon		0
14	P.Pantz		0
15	J.Frayed	(59)	71
16	L.Tarred		0


Time	Person	Description
6 mins	Chris Mass	with a shot which ricocheted in off the crossbar
14 mins	Robin Banks	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner
21 mins	Robin Banks	with a belter from the halfway line
29 mins	Eileen Dover	from a throw in
33 mins	Ewan Whatarmy	with a header from the penalty area
37 mins	Eileen Dover	from a goal kick
45 mins	Ken Opener	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
53 mins	Sam Urai	with a lucky shot that just sneaked inside the post
59 mins	Manuel Labor	Shirt pulling
59 mins	Robin Meeblind	A mild concussion
61 mins	Ariel Hassle	Repeated diving
62 mins	Eileen Dover	with a scissor kick on the edge of the box
65 mins	Ariel Hassle	from the dressing room
69 mins	Chris Mass	with the hand of God
78 mins	Chris Mass	with a lucky shot that just sneaked inside the post
87 mins	Chris Mass	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner

Match Report

"11 - 2 to the Whitey Wanderers" might not rhyme, but it sounds like the best song in the world when you've just scored 11 goals against kirkedge cripples with precious little reply.
Louis King, eh? What a manager. Played this victory to tactical perfection. Can he keep it up for the rest of the season? We'll see.
kirkedge cripples's Sid Down missed the match after spending the morning in casualty when he put his back out getting out of bed.
The expression dodgy keeper was apparently coined for the first time after watching kirkedge cripples's Leo Tarred. This guy couldn't stop a running nose.
kirkedge cripples's manager Andrew Steenson needs to whip his forwards into shape. Although after todays shocker he would be excused for just whipping them.
The boss is meant to shape his team, kirkedge cripples manager Andrew Steenson does. But 1 8 1 is not the best shape for them.
"It was a great win for us," Whitey Wanderers striker Chris Mass told the local press. "The gaffer is delighted with the manner of the win. He says we've taken to it like a duck out of water."
Even if kirkedge cripples were old folks in disguise, they'd probably have faired better at the hands of the rampant Whitey Wanderers scoring machine.

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