Match Report

	(2) 5	-	(6) 12
Cheltenham Festival				kirkedge cripples
Division Pos:11				Division Pos:10

Goal Scorers
Chad Terbocks 17, 51, 64 Chad Terbocks 34 Ken Opener 76		Chanda Lear 5 Sid Down 13 Jose Frayed 20, 41, 75, 81 Ewan Whatarmy 27, 34, 61, 69, 87 Leo Tarred 48 (pen)

Match Statistics

4 4 2	Formation	2 3 2 1 2
31	Possession	69
8	Shots	17
8	Fouls	6
0	Yellow Cards	1
0	Red Cards	0
2	Offsides	5
Use Wings	Style	Use Wings
Attacking	Instruction	Counter Attack
Pansy	Aggression	Pansy
Studded	Boots	Blades

Player Ratings

1	B.Dwyer	63
2	S.Night	74
3	C.Lear	71
4	T.Urchips	67
5	A.Choke	53
6	E.Roids	69
7	C.Terbocks	68
8	K.Opener	74
9	C.Mass	58
10	M.Well	48
11	C.Terbocks	82
12	R.Cranium	0
13	B.Board	0
14	X.Money	0
15	B.Crobbery	0
16	U.Daway	0

1	L.Tarred		90
2	K.Cook		67
3	F.Furter	(58)	45
4	S.Down		76
5	F.Furter		75
6	V.Tire		70
7	W.Bago	(56)	88
8	C.Lear		74
9	A.Nino		60
10	E.Whatarmy		83
11	J.Frayed		92
12	J.Nasium	(58)	72
13	P.Pantz		0
14	P.Pantz		0
15	D.Sore		0
16	R.Sance		0


Time	Person	Description
5 mins	Chanda Lear	after a lovely one-two cut the defence in half
13 mins	Sid Down	with a massive strike that gave the keeper no chance
17 mins	Chad Terbocks	with an amazing lob from an acute angle
20 mins	Jose Frayed	after the referee over-ruled the linesman when blatantly 30 yards offside
27 mins	Ewan Whatarmy	with pin-point accuracy into the far corner
34 mins	Chad Terbocks	after he beat the offside trap and went one-on-one with the keeper
34 mins	Ewan Whatarmy	with a rocket from outside the penalty area
41 mins	Jose Frayed	from a corner
48 mins	Leo Tarred	after ref awarded a penalty
51 mins	Chad Terbocks	with a lucky rebound off the keeper
56 mins	Winnie Bago	Obstruction
58 mins	Frank Furter	A mild concussion
61 mins	Ewan Whatarmy	with a great solo effort
64 mins	Chad Terbocks	from a throw in
69 mins	Ewan Whatarmy	with a great volley from 10 yards out
75 mins	Jose Frayed	with a belter from the halfway line
76 mins	Ken Opener	with a belter from his own half
81 mins	Jose Frayed	after a pigeon distracted the keeper
87 mins	Barb Dwyer	blasted a penalty into row z
87 mins	Ewan Whatarmy	with a dink right under the goalkeeper's nose

Match Report

There's winning a game and there's winning a game like kirkedge cripples. Can you guess which one grinding the opposition to a bloody, gibbering pulp by battering them 12 - 5 is?
Daniel Cullen must be either as lazy as they come or a blind optimist to think letting Cheltenham Festival off training will help.
After taking a good hiding while walking past the local school, Renee Sance was so humiliated by being beaten up by a 13-year-old girl, he didn't turn up for kirkedge cripples.
Cheltenham Festival 's goalie Barb Dwyer couldn't catch a cold. And he barely seemed to know what a football was. Atrocious.
An impressive attacking display. kirkedge cripples are like Jordan, they have plenty of quality up front.
kirkedge cripples look about as convinving playing in the 2 3 2 1 2 formation as they would if boss Andrew Steenson sent them out in dresses.
"Obviously, I'm disappointed with the result," admitted manager Daniel Cullen after the match. "But we're football people, not poets."
On this evidence, We'd hazard that the Cheltenham Festival players probably make really horrible scrambled eggs. The problem? They were badly beaten.

Extra Information

Referee

Weather

Pitch

Albert Boneshaker

Windy

Soft Pitch